Monday, May 24, 2004

Strange Dreams…….

I have a heightened dream state when I am on my medications. It is hard to describe. I bet if you could watch me as I sleep my eyes would be fluttering wildly under my eyelids. It is a very intense state of REM stage sleep. I do not do this when I am off my medications. Somehow they are affecting my brain chemistry which they are designed to do.

I had intense dreams all night long last night. I would have an intense one and wake up suddenly, go use the bathroom, drink a glass of cool aid, smoke a cigarette, and then go back to sleep and the process would start all over. I did this several times during the night last night. Every time I would go back to bed the process would start back over again.

I can wake up with the emotions from my dreams feeling intense. They seem so real and yet so unbelievable at the same time. Much of them are struggles I have to overcome.

One dream was about me being back in college and just hanging out on the quad. A male walks up and insults one of my lady friends. The lady friend was my neighbor who lived in the apartment above me when I lived in Montevallo. I stood up to confront him and he backed down. I later find that my 72 chevy chevelle that I so much loved then had then has been ravaged and beaten up. I then woke up.

Another dream was where my father was having a huge family reunion. I was lying in the bed watching TV and then hear a commotion outside. There are a large number of guests arriving. I struggle to find some clothes to wear but all my clothes are absent. Guests start pilling in and I am stuck with only my t-shirt and undies on. I struggle and struggle to find some clothes but it seems they have all but disappeared. I awake in a panic, breathing hard and am relieved that I am home in my own bed and it is still dark outside.

I will not bore you with the others but they were as intense and emotion filled as these. I just find this weird and I still feel the effects of last night as I write this.

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