Sunday, May 30, 2004

Vivid Mind Pictures…….

I am having problems today. I knew something was up when I felt the newscasters on the weather channel were watching ME today instead of the other way around. I am having hallucinations. I’ve been doing so well lately and have felt as normal as I get.

The past hour or so after breakfast, I kept thinking that I saw something out of the corner of my eye. My peripheral vision was picking up movement but I am alone in my apartment. I am so used to this happened that it no longer freaks me out like it did when I was in college. Well crap, I was thinking to myself, not again.

I sometimes get the notion that I am cured after going several weeks with no negative symptoms and then my illness rears its ugly head. I do not know what has triggered today’s round but you never know. Sometimes it just happens.

I have a conundrum. I have some extra Risperdal and Zyprexa to take when this happens. I know if I take the Zyprexa I will sleep all day and all night. I hate that crap. I do not want to sleep my day away especially when it just got started. I think I will just take an extra Risperdal and increase my dose for today and see if that helps.

I am going to try and make my morning walk. Maybe I just need something to preoccupy my mind and to get out of this dark, gloomy apartment this morning. I am going to head out now.

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