Friday, May 28, 2004

Walking out……

I walked out of the AA meeting tonight. I got angry and said his is a bunch of bullshit. The discussion was a closed group that meant the chairperson had control of the topic. They started ranting about a singular purpose. They didn’t want addicts or people with problems other than alcohol to talk or share their experiences. They wanted to keep the subject to Alcohol only.

I got fumed over this in that we are supposed to help people. To give our time to help those who have an addiction. My philosophy was that we should welcome all groups of people and let them share. Are not most addictions the same and why are their 330 groups based off of the original model of Alcoholics Anonymous? The so called 12 step program that is so daunted in addiction circles.

I mean, come on! Don’t be so arrogant. A drunk is no different from a crack addict. They both eventually destroy your life if you are addicted and the processes are the same. Drink alcohol or smoke crack. Both ruin your life if they are used in excess or for some at all.

I didn’t speak my mind but just got up and left. I should have but the majority of the group was in the singular purpose mode of mind. I said to hell with that. I will just give my money back to my mother if things get too hard. That will curb my drinking as she is like a Nazi accountant when it comes to my expenses. She keeps up with every dollar I spend with zeal. She even asks for receipts when I get some money from her to check what I spend.

I do not have to do that but if I get to drinking hardcore again I will. I will turn over some of my freedom to have a better life. I will not have it dictated to me though. I will not have a group of people who are close minded dictating my actions.

They should be willing and able to open their arms to all types of addiction. There are no cocaine anonymous or narcotics anonymous meetings in Lanett. AA is all those people have. This just made me angry but I will put down my gavel and desist.

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