New Star Wars Movie Poster…

A Little Mentally Misaligned…

After a seemingly grueling afternoon of mental anguish and waiting, my father and Charlie should be here in the next hour with supper and medications.

“What do you want for supper?” my father just asked me over his cellphone.

“Risperdal Consta!” I exclaimed goodheartedly. “And some Klonopin!”

Dad and I both broke out into laughter over my exclamation this late afternoon.

“Seriously though,” I told my father. “Just get me chicken strips or whatever is easiest for you and Charlie.”

“Hang in there.  We will be there in just a few more minutes,” he told me.

Is is just me?  Or is this “new” Colonel in the commercials downright creepy?

Photo Credit:   http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/kfc-arlington-4?select=yQhtW8OBSlnJEIaJAw5JSQ

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.bizjournals.com/portland/blog/2015/05/reviews-of-wieden-kennedys-kfc-rebranding-are.html

Call a Brain Surgeon. We Need a Transplant Stat!

“You’ve been struggling lately,” my father told me over the phone a few minutes ago.

I had called my father to remind him to bring my daily sodas when he brings my medications tonight.

“Is it that noticeable?” I asked feeling consternated and aggravated. 

“You can see it in your clothes and how disheveled and unkempt you look,” my father replied. 

“Well, honestly dad, the only time I feel well is a few hours after my medications these past few days,” I told him. “I’ve been hanging on to my sanity by a thread lately. I feel so like shit that I’ve hardly eaten all week.  I still have tons of food from last Monday.  I even have sweet tea left and that is saying something.”

“Get yourself cleaned up and Charlie and I will be there soon,” he told me. “We should be over there about 7 to 8pm.”

Photo Credit:   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scalp_reconstruction

An Egg McMuffin Morning…

Charlie arrived at 10am.  Maggie and I were still in the bed.  He knocked and I quickly ambled to the front door after pulling on some shorts.  Maggie flew to the front door as well very excitedly. 

“We’re doing something different this morning,” Charlie told me over Maggie’s jubilant barking. “I got you two egg McMuffins.” 

I have to say it was nice doing something different for a change.  The two McMuffins were delicious.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Charlie then said. “When your daddy and I bring you supper and medications. What do you want to eat?”

“I would love the jumbo fried fish platter from Captain D’s,” I told him.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Charlie told me and he pulled away from the curb.  

Photo Credit:  http://www.cnbc.com/2015/01/27/are-mcdonalds-eggs-real-fast-food-giant-cracks-mystery.html

From High Noon to Sundown…

A goodnight and a very kind fare thee all well.  I’ve had a very, very long day mentally. One I would rather forget, and I am getting in the bed and curling up with my dearest my nurse, the Maggins. She’s grooming now in the bedroom and getting ready for me to turn the heat down and to go get in the bed. Charlie will be here bright and early in the morning with bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits, hash browns and orange juice. Let’s hope my mental illness malaise has lifted by then.

Risperdal’s and Klonopin’s Sweet Embrace…

I was sad to learn that Helen is not cooking today.  I was very much looking forward to one of her soul food meals. 

I am feeling a little withdrawal again from my medications today. It feels very uncomfortable to say the least.  I have butterflies in my stomach out the wazoo and paranoia that the withdrawal symptoms might escalate.  I called my father and he is at the grocery store.

“I’ll come by your house with your medications on my way home,” he told me.

Could it be so easy?  I expected a good, hard ribbing from my father – a little goodhearted admonishment about taking my medications so early.  I told him I am forever in his debt if he does come by so early.  It certainly will make for a very pleasant and less anxiety filled afternoon.  Just the mere act of taking them makes me feel better and I know that it is just psychosomatic, but it sure does take the edge off to know help is in my belly and is on the way. 

The Mental Illness Medication Express…  

3:48pm --  Papa made it as he said he would.  He is on his way now to cook peas, smoked pork chops, buttery potatoes in a starchy cream sauce, and cornbread. 

“I’ll bring you a plate by tonight,” he told me. “Would you like okra in your peas?”

“Bless you good sir,” I said. “I would love that.”

“You get to feeling better,” he said to me walking to his car across my front yard. “And do not tell your mother that you are feeling poorly. She will obsess over it.”

Ignorance is bliss as the old saying goes.

Photo Credit:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9uBMUCnOa0

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.gianteagle.com/37600177900.aspx

A Quick Visit From Papa…

Maggie squealed loudly as my father’s Honda pulled up in front of my house tonight.  A broad smile formed across my face as as well as I patted Maggie on the back and said, “Hot Damn!” as we looked out the den window.  It was medication time and then soon I would retire to my warm bed for the evening after a good hour on the computer.  It had been a long day medication withdrawal wise today.  It just happens some days without explanation.  My brain chemistry is a fickle thing to contend with, and would confound even the most venerated of psychiatrists.

“Auburn is playing tonight, so I can’t stay long,” my father said excitedly to hurry up the process.

We quickly took my medications and he was gone in a split second to drive home and watch the game against Kentucky.  I realized tonight that college football is my father’s primary religion.  He’s a very staunch atheist when it concerns Christianity and most other organized religions, but he loves some Auburn football. 

Maggie was standing in the door of the kitchen like, “You all forgot about me.”  I went and put some fresh food and water in her bowls.

Kentucky vs Auburn

Live on ESPN

Commonwealth Stadium, Lexington, Kentucky

Auburn Tigers (3-2)

 

23 - 20

Live - 1:03 3Q

Kentucky Wildcats (4-1)

	1	2	3	4		Total
Auburn	14	9	0	-		23
Kentucky	7	3	10	-		20

All times are in Central Time

Straight Outta El Rio Grande Comes the Chicken Fajita Express….

“How much do the steak fajitas cost?” mom asked me tonight.

“$19.99,” I replied. “The chicken fajitas are only $14.99.”

In juxtaposition, my usual burrito meal only costs $6.99.

“I’ll get you the chicken fajitas then,” mom told me. “I know you get tired of eating that same burrito meal every week.”

That was a breath of fresh air and I didn’t have to beg for it either.  I wasn’t going to get Mexican food tonight as I was so tired of the same old, same old I get every week.  I don’t see how mom and Mrs. Sandra can eat the very same things that they’ve been eating for years at this restaurant. 

I wanted chilies relleños, but the last time they made it for me they used bell peppers instead of poblano chilies.  That was a travesty and a sin on all Hispanic people everywhere!

Photo Credit:  http://www.recipessquared.com/chicken-fajitas/

A Turn Down My Street and a Roll to a Stop at the Curb…

Papa surprised the both of us tonight. I didn’t hear his car pull up and neither did Maggie.  I was sitting in one of the reclining chairs in the den reading an old issue of Model Railroader when there was a loud knock on my door. It startled me.  Even Maggie was aloof tonight and came flying into the den to see who knocked.  My crazy dog had already gotten in the bed for the night. She was preening, as I call it, in my bedroom. There is always cooties to vanquish and it is her job to do so.  

It is After Seven and Papa is Heading Home Soon…

Dad says the hardest and most time consuming part about closing the pharmacy is backing up and synchronizing the customer database.  Dad said this can sometimes take an hour. 

It is a good feeling when closing time at 7pm rolls around after a tough day and I know he will soon be on his way to my house. 8pm will roll around and my hopes grow as Maggie will get in the window and start her vigil as well. 

Sometimes, he will show up at 8:30pm and some nights it can be as late as 9:30pm, but that last time is pretty rare thank goodness.  I will be biting my nails by then on those nights.

Charlie’s wife, Janice, cooks a good supper every night except Wednesday night.  Wednesday night she has church and they feed the parishioners a meal before the service. I do believe my father’s goes over to Charlie's for a meal many nights. 

Photo Credit:  http://www.tutorialspoint.com/db2/db2_backup_and_recovery.htm

And Let the Bacon and Biscuits Flow Forth…

The first thing I did early this morning after taking my hot shower of the day was to roll out some dough and get my biscuits on a baking sheet and then in a hot 500° oven. I had made the dough last night before bed and put it in a floured and covered wooden bowl. Then I put it in the fridge.

I then got some Black Label bacon frying.  Maggie stayed underfoot the whole time. Soon the grits were bubbling and I added some sharp cheddar and stirred them often.  We were ready to eat when the eggs had finished scrambling. 

Well, the bacon was driving Maggie crazy so I gave her a small crunchy strip.  I know I am terrible dog owner, but she loves the stuff and I wanted to make her happy. Tough love just wasn’t in the cards today.  She also got some plain scrambled eggs and some cheddar cheese grits which didn’t last long on her paper plate.

Photo Credit:   http://nerdbacon.com/bacon10/

Mercy Beckons…

“Will you drive down to the pharmacy and get my prescriptions?”  my mother asked me this morning over the phone. “I just don’t feel like getting dressed and driving down there.”

“Mom, call them and tell them I am on my way so they will have the medicine ready,” I replied. “I will be over there soon.”

Mom is having a terrible time with a bladder and urinary tract infection.  She says she just feels awful.  She is running a real high temperature today.  Her doctor, Dr. Backshi, called in the medications for her. I was certainly surprised to find my father working on a Wednesday.  Dad thanked me for doing that for mom.

Photo Credit:   http://www.doctortipster.com/21295-a-urinary-tract-infection-overview.html

Man From Mars…

Dad was running late tonight. He realized he was out of my medications and made a mad dash to the pharmacy to get them. Dad also had to mail some important documents and told me to head on to Kroger and start my shopping. He would be there soon.

“You definitely have interesting taste buds,” my father told me tonight with a smile as we stood by my car. “You remind me of your mother. I’ve never seen someone buy a whole case of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs before.”

“Well, it is only .99¢ cents a can with my Kroger Plus card and I am trying to find a cheap food that will fill me up and last all week,” I replied.

“Just as long as you are happy,” he said to placate me as I loaded up my car through the rear hatch of the CR-V.

My most expensive purchase tonight was a box of Gain fabric softener for $6.99. My cookies were also expensive as well.  I got a package of $3.99 apple turnover cookies and a $3.99 package of tasty and soft baked oatmeal and raisin cookies.

Glittermom, you will also be glad to know that I got my coveted breakfast foods – a tradition I have sorely missed and you aptly reminded me of it.  We’re having cheese grits, Black Label bacon, and scrambled eggs tomorrow morning when I get up about 6am.  I am pretty sure Maggie can have some plain eggs and plain grits without a problem unless you all would think that would be a bad thing.

Photo Credit:   http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-180253

The $75 Dollar Fill Up…

Dad didn’t feel like going grocery shopping last night. He was pooped out (I wonder what inspired the first use of this phrase?)! He and Charlie helped my brother move into their newly constructed house in Auburn all day. It took a year to build and they’ve finally finished it.

“If you tell your mother we didn’t go, then she will think you are starving over here,” he told me last night. “She will drive me crazy!”

“Mum’s the word,” I replied laughing. “We will go tomorrow night.”

A “plan of attack” is forming in my brain about my shopping tonight.  Dad says I am the quickest grocery shopper he has ever seen.   It does usually only take us thirty minutes to shop.  We will leave my house at 9pm and I am unloading my groceries at home around 9:45pm – transit times included.

One thing I am not going to skimp on tonight is my sweets.  I have a hankering for some Krispy Kreme chocolate coated and cream filled doughnuts as in the photo above.  I also want some oatmeal and raisin cookies from the bakery which are $3.99 a package.

Photo credit:   http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g55270-d1009248-i35263531-Krispy_Kreme_Doughnuts-Pigeon_Forge_Tennessee.html

Today’s Exchange Proves More Promising…

Andrew -  Hey, I hope you have a super morning and a great day today. I have no pressing matters to attend to and it is going to be very nice. I will probably waste my day listening to music and hanging out on my computers.

Wendy -  I'm at hospital taking glucose test...tasted yucky

I waste alot of days also until I get the kids then I am busy. Today is stimulus tuesday and I am taking kids to movies after school and probably petco. Even popcorn and cokes are a $1.

Andrew -  That sounds like an awesome day. I bet the kids will really enjoy it. I hope your glucose test comes out okay.

Wendy -  Meeting a bf at Milanos for lunch. She's not here yet if you're out about you can pop in

Andrew -  Thanks so much for the invite. I really appreciate it.

Wendy -  We are tacky today so don't judge. She just got out of school

Andrew -   LOL

Wendy -  She is married. I told her about you

Andrew -   Oh cool. I probably won't be able to get things together so soon to make it in time.. You know shower shave ATM. But I extremely appreciated the invite.

Wendy -  Ok we will soon

Andrew -  i hope so and I am looking forward to it.

I am not going to wimp out on you this time! LOL

Who Me? I am not a Stalker…

I keep stalwartly trying and trying to win over Wendy’s affections.  Every morning I send her an encouraging message of goodwill, but I worry I am pushing my luck – that she is going to think I am a stalker.  It seems like I may be barking up the wrong tree.  I don’t get much of an response other than a simple, “Thank You.”  Life's too short to live alone and I have been making great strides in combating my social anxieties with regards to these endeavors. 

Photo Credit:    http://www.memedroid.com/gallery/116078

The Culinary Side of Facebook…

I was just over getting my six allotted sodas for the day as Helen sat out on the back porch smoking cigarettes.

“Baby, your sister-in-law said you were putting pictures of my food on Facebook.”

Helen then asked me if she could befriend me and I said yes.  She is going to send me a friend request as soon as she gets home from work. This will certainly prove interesting. I’m still not quite sure if I want Helen reading my Facebook timeline. 

Photo credit:   http://meatloaf.food.com/

Hardscrabble Times…

Sir:
Do you ever give any more thought to working at writing a novel? Or pursuing some form of art that you could sell on eBay or some such place? At one time previously you had been very focused and gun-ho about such a type of pursuit. Both of these pursuits would not necessarily be hindered by occasional bouts of "unwellness", and in fact they may even flavor your work in some creative, unique ways that could make your writing or art shine uniquely. Look at Hemingway, or Faulkner, or Steinbeck, or Van Gogh. Each gentleman had his own struggles with "unwellness" and yet they created and gave masterpieces to the world. I think you could too!
All of them were also pipe smokers! That also adds to their worth too... just saying. :)
PipeTobacco

Pipe, you’re such a kind soul and a good friend to boot.  I always appreciate your comments and insight. I wrote a book called Hardscrabble Times about my grandmother’s life and family experiencing the Great Depression in a poverty stricken South a few years ago. I just have never sought out a publisher and it needs some serious spit and polish as well from a good editor. Its got that The Grapes of Wrath vibe going on. 

Remember that time I lashed out at you saying you were not who you said you are?  I wish I could take that back so much, but you didn’t abandon me.  That was a paranoia induced aspect of my mental illness. I apologize profusely. It still worries me these days and I cringe to think about it.

Nocturne De Andrew…

As nighttime approaches and the sun sets, Sunday night fried chicken has a green light to go. We’re Go for launch NASA.  My mother just called me and wanted to know what I wanted for my Sunday night meal. 

“I would love to have two roast beef sandwiches or a Rueben from Arby’s,”  I told her.

Arby’s is my all time favorite fast food place.

“Your daddy will say that Arby’s is too expensive,” my mother replied morosely.

“Just get me the chicken tenders meal at KFC,” I replied disappointedly. “Also, mom, ask him if a 3 piece fried fish plate from Captain D’s would be okay.”

Mom always gets a whopper w/cheese and onion rings.  The last time I followed my mother’s lead was a few weeks ago and my burger was a disappointing and sloppily prepared mess more fit for livestock than human consumption.  

Nature’s Alarm Clock Extraordinaire…

Maggie woke me up whining this time at 4am in the morning.

“Sweetie, you are going to let me get some sleep time in,” I told her as I turned on my lamp by the bed in a pitch dark bedroom. “Come and get in the bed.”

Soon, my unruly “toddler” was back asleep again.

I think Maggie wakes up alone and feels lonely.  When I get up, music is turned on and breakfast is served and she has learned this.  We all get active as soon as big daddy gets up and going. I just don’t have Maggie’s narcoleptic ability to fall over in the middle of a room and take a nap as she often does.

What’s Orange and Tastes Sweet and Often Grows in Florida?

Yes oranges and Charlie brought me a large orange juice that tasted heavenly along with my usual monster Coke.  Charlie didn’t get here until almost 10am and I was beginning to get worried about him.  Soon, Maggie was squealing the alarm that Charlie had arrived.

“Don’t say a damn thing about my hair,” Charlie vainly said chuckling as the wind blew around his comb over atop his almost bald head.

Post Helen…

Helen fried pork chops and cooked turnip greens, rutabagas, deviled eggs, cornbread, and baked sweet potatoes yesterday.  Have you ever tried a baked sweet potato?  If not, then you are missing out on a really neat treat.  They are so sweet, rich, creamy, and delicious.

“You’ve got a lot of food over here.  You need to come and pick it up,” my father told me in the last hour over my phone.

I asked my father if Auburn was playing today and he chastised me for not knowing Auburn was on sabbatical this week. Oh, well. Rome wasn’t built in a day and I am a work in progress as far as football goes.

I then hurried over to my parent’s with dreams and grand delusions of mounds of pork chops.  There were only four fried pork chops and that’s certainly okay.  I am going to make sandwiches out of them throughout the day.

The Guy Bringing Sausage Biscuits Called Me…

“How long have you been bringing me breakfast on Sunday mornings?”  I asked Charlie a moment ago on another phone call.

“It has been about two years,” Charlie replied.  “I’ll see you in the morning around 9pm.”

That was short and sweet.  I told Charlie to be sure and knock on the door even if I am asleep.  Maggie will probably wake me anyway, but I certainly don’t want ants in my biscuits again.

Photo Credit:   http://www.drgourmet.com/askdrgourmet/diabetic-sweetpotato.shtml#.Vhk3WHpVhBc

Maggie Says it is Time to Rise and Shine…

Maggie let it be known that she was very hungry this morning.  She had a bowl of her kibble last night after my father had left.  I guess it didn’t fill her up. She woke me up at 6am with that mewling noise she makes meaning she was hungry again and needs more kibble.  I stumbled into the laundry room half asleep and got her a bowl of Purina One and then sleepily stumbled back to my bedroom. As all this was going on, I noticed my neighbor was already in his chair on the carport and it was still pitch black and quite chilly outside. He had his carport light on. You have to give him an A for effort.

She’s a Sweet ‘ole Gal…

I have three really cool computers at the moment – four if you count my venerable iPad.  My beloved retro gaming computer is in my computer room.  The other two are in the den and my bedroom respectively.  I play musical computers quite often preferring one computer over the others.  Well, whatever room I am in is where Maggie is going to be sleeping.  She terribly hates to be left alone in a room.

Do Things Sometimes Work Out for the Best?

The state of my dating affairs is pretty dismal at the moment to say the least.  Wendy is ignoring me on Facebook for starters because I stood her up on that date.  I guess it left a bitter taste in her mouth. I don’t blame her for being gun-shy.

The more I learn about Wendy – the more my eyebrows get carefully raised, though.  I learned yesterday through the grapevine that she doesn’t have custody of her youngest daughter who is in foster care and she also had a terrible methamphetamine addiction a few years ago.  It makes me wonder what she would think about the life I lived 10 years ago?  I’m am most definitely no saint and not much of one to judge, but is does make you take pause for a few moments there.  Judge not lest ye be judged I keep telling myself. Everybody deserves a second chance. 

This is a No Pain Zone…

Maggie woke me up at 5am whining softly as she lay next to me in the bed.  She must’ve been in pain is what I surmised.

I put some painkiller and antiseptic on a cotton swab and ran it around inside her ear.  I then very gently swabbed the sore on her ear where she is scratching with hydrogen peroxide and then put on some Neosporin. She greatly protested it as the treatment must have hurt, but I do think she is feeling much better now.  She is now asleep at my feet below my computer room desk snoring softly as if she was exhausted. As much as I love her, I don’t want her to hurt or be miserable. I do wish I could take her pain and bear it for her. I think any parent would feel the same way as I do.

Some things are worth much more than any amount of money.  If Maggie is not better by next week, then I am taking her back once again to the veterinarian and get her on some antibiotics.  My father is going to bitch and moan about the cost, but he will get over it. I have some money, but I am just discouraged in actually using it.

Photo Credit:   https://selfprofessedproductobsessed.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/karma-burns-yet-another-neosporin-review/

The Risperdal Consta Experience

This medication is the backbone of my efforts to fight and control mental illness.  I could tell throughout yesterday that the effects of my medication were waning.   I will get a big case of the butterflies, nervousness, and some mild delusional thinking and paranoia. 

Extra Gracious Miles and Beyond…

“I sliced you a whole plate of garden tomatoes tonight. They are probably the last garden tomatoes until next spring,” my father said as he walked through my front door with arms full of food. “I put salt and pepper on them so don’t add more salt.  You’re also going to love the beef stew.”

I will put the sliced tomatoes to good use making sandwiches the next few days on tasty layers of Blue Plate mayonnaise.  I knew I bought that loaf of Kroger soft white sandwich bread for a reason.  Dad also brought me half a pan of “egg bread” which I am eager to try as soon as my medications are absorbed in an hour.

My father then reminded me that my injection in the buttocks is due in the morning.  I already had some nice and clean clothes laid out on the bed in my computer room for the occasion.

“I’m one step ahead of you!” I told my father with much zest.

“I’ve got to work tomorrow so I will call you about 8am to make sure you are up and going.”

Let’s hope Dee Dee, Pat, Rebecca, and Adia at Kamath Medical can get me in and out quickly. They always go way out of their way to accommodate me and treat me with the utmost of care and respect.

Photo Credit:   http://www.thekitchn.com/tastes-like-summer-the-perfect-60463

The Countdown to Cool is On…

My father is cooking beef stew tonight. I was just over there getting my 6 sodas for the day.  The kitchen smelled absolutely wonderful with that big pot of beef stew bubbling and simmering on the stove. 

“I am also cooking egg bread tonight,” my father told me as I listened on with intrigue. “It is cornbread made with eggs and butter. They both make it really rich and hearty. Momma would cook it that way sometimes as a treat.” 

Dad told me he would bring me the leftovers so I have an extra reason to look forward to the medication ritual tonight.

Dad also had homework to do with continuing education for pharmacists today.

“Who wants to spend their day off reading about peptic ulcer treatment and new generic drugs?” he asked me jokingly with a scowl.

There Were Once Tsars and Tsarinas…

I’ve been really intrigued today about Russia's insurgency into the Syrian war.  They fired  a total of 26 cruise missiles at various ISIL command structures and targets last night. Russia is still a formidable adversary.  I am sure this has ruffled some feathers on Capital Hill.  My own opinion is that we are now having to reap what we sowed – our own insurgency into Iraq and Afghanistan has destabilized the whole Middle East.

Photo Credit:  http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/File:Beefstew.jpg

Time for a Turkey Sammich…

I didn’t have enough money to buy breakfast foods last night in my efforts to be frugal so I am eating a Carving Board roast turkey and Havarti cheese sandwich on Jewish rye bread this morning. All kinds of good flavors are coming together.

I can’t stand to eat a cold sandwich other than tuna salad so I toasted it in my toaster oven till the cheese started to melt and the bread started to brown. I have to say that this was quite a tasty combination.

Photo Credit:    http://www.triber.today/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=158538

Maggie? Bless Your Heart! Will We Ever Get You Well?

When I quit giving Maggie people food, most of her skin problems went away promptly as you all had assured me. Her skin is in good health and her hair is no longer falling out from incessant and persistent scratching.

Now, a new ailment has popped up to confound matters.  Maggie has scratched her ear so much she has rubbed a very nasty sore on it. I didn’t catch it until yesterday. It seems she has another nasty ear infection. Will I ever get this dog well?

Last night, at the grocery store, I bought antiseptic Neosporin ointment that also included a painkiller, a bottle of bacteria demolishing hydrogen peroxide, and some Q-tips to clean Maggie’s ears.   Maggie doth protest greatly when I am doctoring on her and I have to hold her firmly between my legs to keep her from escaping. If this doesn’t work, then I am going to have to take her back out to Dr. Thomas and the small animal clinic.

The Blue Lights of Bad Nights…

Dad and I had just completed our shopping rituals and we were headed home. I managed to spend only $58 dollars tonight for which my father was very grateful. 

“That makes up for last week,” my father told me as we exited Kroger.

I quickly pulled out on Highway 29 to drive back to my house which is just a few miles away. All the sudden I see bright, flashing blue lights rush up behind me.  I was getting pulled over by the police.  You don’t want to know what I said to myself when this happened. It would have made a sailor blush.

“Sir?” the policeman said nicely after approaching my car. “Did you know how fast you were going?”

“No Sir,” I replied honestly. “I was concentrating on getting home and getting my groceries put away.”

“You were doing 46 mph in a 40 mile per hour zone.”

I apologized and then the officer went back to his car to check my credentials and paperwork.  He let me off with a verbal warning when everything checked out as kosher.

Photo Credit:     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hdq7UNM484

This is the Kind of Completely Crazy Social Anxiety Crap I Deal With On a Daily Basis…

Okay, I really want to wash my car, but it is never, ever that simple.  I will have to go outside in the backyard to get my garden hose.  My beer swigging neighbor sits just a few feet from where my garden hose is stored. The mere thought of him trying to strike up a long winded conversation makes me cower in fear and I most certainly don’t need a beer. So I am hoping he will drive somewhere and then I can bring the hose to the front yard and quickly wash my car.  The only drug I have found to work against these anxieties is a six-pack of beer – one of the more often used social lubricants.

Photo credit:   https://www.pinterest.com/pin/232005818277690322/

Persistence Does Pay Off Sometimes…

Well, Wendy is giving me a second wind and a second chance after all that’s been said and done. She’s a true sweetheart.  I better get it right this time with little to no shenanigans.  I had to grovel to get this far. 

We are going to meet at Sonic in our respective cars and get a milkshake – an ice breaker of sorts.  I know she thinks I am the fruitiest of fruitcakes by now.  I guess persistence does pay off in the end.  I told you all I had a bulldog’s tenacity about this whole experience and this endeavor. 

I really and completely surprised myself about this ordeal as well.  I had to muddle through tons of social anxiety and phone phobias to make it this far. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. I sure hope that it was worth it in the end.

Groveling Much?

Wendy, would you be so kind as to give me a second chance? I can understand if you don’t and I will leave you alone.  I promise I won’t stand you up and not show.  You have my very solemn vow.  I thought we could just keep things simple at first and possibly go get a milkshake one day next week at Sonic. If you want me to leave you alone then just disregard this message.  

I wrote Wendy this message last night.  I sort of have a bulldog tenacity about us going out right now.  I just hope she gives me a second chance.  If she doesn’t, then it will be important life lesson for me on how to treat people.

Breakfast is Served…

I awoke and sleepily looked at the clock above my bed and it read 9pm this Sunday morning.  I knew then that Charlie would be here in mere moments.  Maggie took her place on the couch whining while I hurriedly dressed and then I sat at my computer in the den occasionally looking outside. Charlie soon came slowly pulling up to the curb with breakfast. 

Photo Credit:   http://mcdonalds.wikia.com/wiki/Egg_McMuffin

Dixie Goes to Another Forever Home…

I can get very, very choked up writing about this issue, but here it goes.  Dad tenaciously fought me both tooth and nail about keeping Dixie. I just haven't written about it. It was a constant source of contention between the both of us.  I will agree with my father that Dixie, the great Pyrenees, was too big for my house.  Maggie also stayed a nervous wreck about that very busy dog and she never accepted Dixie as a member of our family.  Maggie was the boss to the bitter end.  My father came and picked Dixie up to take her to her new forever home. 

“You’ll Grow to Love Football,” They said. “It is Good for your Soul!” They also said.

Option A:   “You sure you don’t want to go to the Auburn game this afternoon?” my father asked me this morning. “I have an extra ticket.” 

I shyly said no hoping I wouldn’t disappoint my father too much.  He doesn’t understand my ambivalence and lack of enthusiasm towards the sport.  I’ve told you all before that I am missing the “gladiator” gene.

Option B:   “Charlie will be over about 4pm with your medications on his way to the movie theater then.”

Option B turned out to be much more of a boon for the Magster and I.  Charlie brought me a Whopper with cheese, onion rings, and a gigantic ice cold Coca-Cola.  Maggie got a meaty Slim Jim which didn't last but one minute after being placed on the floor. 

Photo Credit:    http://velocitycleveland.org/connect/find-a-fuel-group/gladiator/

A Day of Plenty…

I just heard from a reliable source that the meatloaf and accompanying macaroni and cheese are in the oven at my parent's house. Helen, good buddy, don’t let me down now. Dad will bring my plate tonight during the medication ritual since I had Jim Bob’s chicken fingers for lunch.

Mom and I made it to Auburn and Books-a-Million safe and sound despite the world’s craziest drivers to contend with. I had to jockey for position all down the interstate as cars sped around me at breakneck speeds.  I pretty steadfastly go the speed limit these days now that my boy racer days are long over. It is a sign that I am getting old I do believe.  Mom then bought over $150 dollars in books!  I was flabbergasted.  There must’ve been a dozen books.  She had to come get me to help take all three bags to the car.

I then stopped at Petco so my mother could get more of those amazing pill pockets for dogs. I looked at some aquariums while we were there as I am thinking of getting a 30 or 50 gallon planted tank for Christmas or my birthday.

I then had a rendezvous with Jim Bob’s chicken fingers and ordered a fried chicken finger plate which didn't take very long to cook. We then headed to Sonic next door to get onion rings and chocolate shakes.  They were out of onion rings so they gave us a large chocolate shake for free. Mom and I both thought that was a nice touch.  Mom tipped our carhop $3 dollars in recompense.  

Photo Credit:   http://picsant.com/188418070-kids-chicken-fingers-and-fries.html

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.aquariumdesigngroup.com/index.php#mi=2&pt=1&pi=10000&s=15&p=2&a=0&at=0

Let the Heavens Pour Forth…

Saw that online and thought that was pretty neat and novel to cook the mac and cheese inside the meat loaf ------->

It is raining very heavily here now in the Southland and it is very nice.  You can hear the rain pattering heavily on my roof and gushing off my eaves.  It is also a chilly rain for the South at 69° degrees. Enough to catch the death of you my dad’s mother would say.  My neighbor sits on his carport tonight undeterred as a large puddle of water forms under his Dodge Caravan in the same port. 

My father went by Kroger on his way home from work to buy the ingredients for Helen’s meatloaf and mac and cheese.  I will certainly look forward to that meal tomorrow.  We are also having turnip greens seasoned with vinegary hot sauce and calorific fatback which will make for a classic Southern soul food meal. 

Dad was also really, really quiet tonight and it was unnerving for this socially sensitive fellow. 

“Oh, I am just tired,” he told me apologetically with an affectionate pat on my knee. “I worked from 9am this morning to 8pm tonight. That’s almost a twelve hour day.”

The Secretary Beckons…

Mom is getting us up much more stuff to do tomorrow on our trip to Auburn.  Now we’re going to Petco for pill pockets as well as the bookstore.  She also wants onion rings from Sonic.  I am just going to get a chocolate shake I think although I do love their cheddar stuffed jalapeños, breaded and fried. 

Photo Credit:  http://damnthatlooksgood.com/meatloaf-stuffed-with-macaroni-cheese/

Awoken From a Deep Sleep…

I was awoken this morning to Maggie barking cautiously at the front door.  I quickly put on some clothes to head to the front door to see what was going on. A strange car was parked in front of my house – a very nice Volvo.  It was a home healthcare nurse trying to find a right address.

“This is South 8th Avenue,” I told her as she looked at a tablet computer in her hand. “You want North 8th Avenue.”

I stood in my open door as she pushed a few buttons on her tablet and then apologized profusely for the intrusion and headed to her car in an effort to find the right address.

Photo Credit:   http://www.ctmc.org/care-services

Medications Came Early, But At What Price?

My father totally surprised me yesterday by bringing my medications in the very early afternoon.  Anytime he is in his BMW means he is headed somewhere highbrow and frou frou.  Dad also reeked of aftershave.   Even my medications smelled and tasted of aftershave after he handled them to me.

I heard a surprising knock on the door and looked out the window to see his car.  I got excited.  We never see Papa this early in the day. It was definitely surprising.

“The honorable Bob James (brother of our former state governor)  is having a soiree and I am headed to it,” he told me. “I might not be back until late tonight.”

I was glad to get them, but that means I will probably be dealing with some pretty harsh withdrawal by late this afternoon. Dad had to work today so I probably won’t see him until around 9pm.

Photo Credit:  http://www.drugs.com/imprints/gsk-coreg-cr-40-mg-12691.html

Books-a-Million: Where My Mother Loves to Hang Out…

Mom just called me and anxiously wanted me to take her to the bookstore in Auburn tomorrow.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked me cautiously. “We’ll get a sweet treat at Sonic! I’ve found an Author that I have just fallen in love with and ordered all her books.”

“As much as you’ve done for me over the years it would be the least I could do,” I told her honestly.

I’ve tried explaining to my mother that she could easily order all these books online and have them shipped to her home address, but she will balk and wants to do it the old fashioned and traditional way.

She also wanted to go this morning, but I wasn’t together enough today to drive her to Auburn. I haven’t been up, but for a few hours.  I still feel really groggy.

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.nymetroparents.com/article/books-a-million-july-free-family-fun-camp