I need your help….

I have been receiving $837 dollars a month from social security for disability. Recently, I contacted my congressman and got my big check. It was a back payment of $5600 dollars. I gave two thousand dollars to my ex-wife to pay for a trip to London. I had no choice. She is my representative payee. She gets the checks and deposits the money and gives me the rest. I have tried many times to change this but SSI just gives me the run around. She acted as if it was my choice and I agreed to go. I gave her the two thousand dollars to pay for the trip. I didn’t want to go. It was her idea and she put it on her credit card.

Social Security wrote a letter today saying they paid me $1000 dollars too much and now I have to foot the bill. It will come out of my check monthly. This will drastically reduce my monthly income.

Should I confront my ex-wife? I still give her money every month. I still love her so much but I cannot afford to give her more. I am often penniless at the end of the month. I want to see about her. I want to be a man and stand up to my responsibilities. Should I ask for that money back? It really was not hers. I struggle so much with this issue.

I get so angry about this. I pay her cable and electrical bill but she never comes to see me. I do more for her than she does for me. I look after her but she never has the time to stop by and see how I am doing. I could have been an asshole and never gave her anything. When I was homeless I gave her lots of money to make sure she was seen about. I was sleeping in a tent in the harshest weather and she was at home sleeping in our warm bed. I saw about her though and no one can ever say I was a person who didn’t meet his responsibilities.

I guess I am bitter. I am bitter at her in the way she divorced me. She would not face me. She had her father come pick me up and take me to the lawyer’s office. I signed the papers and gave her everything. She got the house, our Volkswagen, our dog and cat. She got all our wedding presents and they were numerous.

I just want to cry. I want to lie in my bed and sleep until kingdom come. I am not a bad person. I try so hard but life has a way of making everything a struggle.

I will always see about her. Homeless or not; she will have a home. I would sell everything I had to make sure she had what she needs. I just do not know what to do. I do not want to be an asshole and ask for that money. I need it though. I guess I just need to go to bed for awhile. I need time to think about things.