It is easy to get down if you suffer from a major mental illness on top of addiction issues. You can get into the doldrums quick like I have the past week! I’ve been thinking positively today about how lucky I am. For years, I have measured myself against Kevin “The Homeless Guy” Barbieux. It makes me thankful of all I have. I’ve lost track of doing that. I have Maggie. I have a comfortable if somewhat dilapidated home in a relatively safe neighborhood. I have all the food I care to eat when many people in our modern world go starving every day. I have George, Mrs. Florene and a family that still loves me. I have all the cigarettes I care to smoke if I smoke them judiciously. I get six diet Cokes per day when I could be getting none. If I am cold, I turn up the heat and vice versa.
Tomorrow is mom’s 65th birthday. If I can only just live so long I thought today. There was a time in my life I didn’t want to live past thirty and go through the hell my life currently was. See? It is so easy to dwell on the negative. Today, I choose to embrace the positive. I hope you will see it in my writings for the upcoming weeks. We are getting back on track.
(Just as I was writing this, Maggie came bustling in the room wagging her tail something fierce. She was wanting some attention. I smiled and rubbed her back vigorously. It is a good day to be alive!!!!!! For her alone, I should be living every day with gusto.)
6 comments:
I LOVE this post Andrew..so positive, what a difference a few days can make..keep going from strength to strength...bet Maggie's glad too..pets can sense our moods and depressions, i'm sure.
Have you read my blog lately? I have been frustrated with my 2 brothers who drink and get high constantly. It upsets me b/c they do not even realize how they upset the whole family with their nonsense. You need to try to stay sober and realize that your family loves you and wants the best for you!
You are lucky Andrew.
You have just written an awesome gratitude list.
Gratitude directs your attitude. Glad to hear you will give AA another try. You are worth it!!
I really like this awesome post, too. I'm so glad you see such good things in your life. I have chronic depression and this is what I do as well to remind me that there are positives in my life.
Wish mom a happy birthday from me. You know, there are support groups for people and families dealing with mental illness. Maybe you and your mom could find one and go together? Sometimes it's nice to talk with people who are going through similar things.
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