I found myself praying yesterday. I am desperate. It is probably the first time I have prayed in a decade. I prayed for the good sense to start back going to AA. I prayed for mom and dad to love me and for our relationship to improve. I prayed for some kind of reprieve in my obsessive compulsive behavior and the drinking, bulimia, and the drugs. I prayed that Maggie continues to have good health. I prayed for a great deal of things. Tears rolled down my cheeks and wet my shirt. It was like this great outpouring.
This morning I am listening to Coast to Coast AM about entities that attach themselves to people with mental illnesses and addictions. How these entities entice us to drink and to have delusions and aberrant behavior. It is so interesting and intoxicating to think that all this time I may have had a malevolent entity attached to me all these years causing all my problems. I have been possessed. There was even the phrase “fallen angels” bantered around.
5 comments:
maybe your first time praying in awhile but I bet...no I know there are alot of prayers being prayed FOR you....He loves you Andrew and wants His best for you....thanks for always being so open and honest here...praying becky
It makes me happy to hear that you prayed. God does love you and will help you, if only you ask. I pray for you each day. :-) I just can't imagine NOT talking to God each day.
God loves you very much and wants you to talk to Him. That is prayer. I pray for you all the time.
If you would like more enlightenment into mental illness read, "When Pigs Move In". A great book.
I agree with all the others..it is so good that you prayed...it needs to be a daily thing if possible, as each day is a new start..but lots of us are praying for you everyday as well...Prayer does help, and God does care...i think there is a difference between been 'Possesed' and been 'oppressed' by anything..i REALLY dont want to get into a Religious discussion of any sort..but i do believe that to be quote 'Possesed' you would at some time in your life have needed to have been involved in the 'Occult'..but to be opressed by them you just needed to be heavily into Alcohol..or whatever the addiction was..Either Way Andrew..God loves you & cares about your problems..and talking to him each day surely will help...thinking of you 7 Maggie.
Andrew, you know your parents love you. If they didn't they would have turned their backs on you long ago. Sometimes relationships with our children are challenging, but we love our kids just the same.
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