My sister follows me on Facebook and so does my sister-in-law. It has scared the shit out of me that they are going to tell my father that I am writing about my mental illness and addictions openly there now. I am certainly throwing caution to the wind. I often wonder if I should just put my real name on this blog and where I live. Does it really matter that people can find me? Do I have the courage to be me despite what others think?
My sister sent me a private message last night after I had wrote I get a lot of readers on my blog. She wanted the address and wanted to know about building up a readership. I didn’t send her an address. I don’t want my family reading my blog it seems. I did tell her that blogging is like anything else in life as she should know being a very successful oncologist. You get out of it about what you put into it. if you write a lot and try to be interesting then people will stop by I think. Most people start a blog and give up after a few weeks when no one visits. When i started this iteration of my blog, I only had two people reading: Pipe Tobacco and Jennifer.
I am seriously considering putting my real name up today and where i live. I would love your thoughts on the matter before I do this. I always admired Kevin “The Homeless Guy” Barbieux for always using his real name on his blog despite the incredibly controversial topics he wrote about. Let me know what you think and if I am being stupid or not.
(I am also feeling especially gregarious right now. That may change in a week or two when the paranoia of my schizophrenia rears it’s ugly head. I will go back to being quiet and withdrawn – a social pariah.)
25 comments:
drove to work wondering if your Dad is maybe not so much cold hearted as scared....and when he acts the coldest he is the scardest...
keep it,your blog as is...no more no less information....hurt people hurt people...and we're all just hurt.
Becky,
Interesting thoughts to mull over. I have never thought dad may be scared. He has certainly been through hell with my mother and I. I guess he fears life will spiral out of control with us and our illnesses and he feels this supreme need to stay in control. Thank you for the comment.
Jonathon
I fear that mean people would make trouble for you if they could identify where you are. What if they contacted your family and made up stuff to get you into hot water with them?
True Susan. I forgot I have a few anonymous yahoos that could stir up some deep trouble for me. An attorney friend of the blog once contacted me helping me to stay anonymous. She thought the same thing I think. I will consider this course of action carefully today.
I too think you should leave things as they are Andrew..simply because of the anonymous ones and others who may get a kick out of hurting you..I know the majority of folk are decent people..but its the minority that could cause you so much trouble..and no one wants that for you dear.
orrrr...he fears losing you again....that's a big fear for a Dad
True Becky! He always says if I fall, then he is going to pick me back up - that he is determined son of a bitch. I do hope he never gives up on me. I am trying!
He's a Dad...he won't but that doesn't mean he will always love you the way you need....we're flawed that way.....wonder if next time he acts cold hearted you just give him a hug...bold move huh? :)
Take it from me, my friend... STAY ANONYMOUS! I haven't blogged in over a year because of the very fact that so many friends and family were reading my deepest thoughts and didn't always know how to respond to them. They actually took offense. And for your own sake so that you can be REAL, stay and be Andrew... the real side of your life and not a facade because family is reading.
Love ya..
Charlotte
You should stay anonymous! I hadn't realized that you were using some false stuff to hide your identity, and I often worried that you were putting way too much information about yourself out there to anyone in the whole world who wanted to read it. It's sadly a scary world these days, and it just wouldn't be smart to make it clear who and where you are!
Leigh Ann,
Thanks! Yes, I try to stay anonymous most days. Most names are changed to protect the innocent. Andrew isn't my first name. I think I will heed all of your advice and just stay anonymous. I will be better able to blog freely that way!
I agree with everyone stay anonymous. The world can be bad and so can the people in it so, stay anonymous. I do not have my real name anywhere on my blogs. I don't write as real as you do because of fear my family may read it someday. I wish I could be as open and free with my feelings about my everyday life as you are. Maybe I would have more people stopping by if I did.
As much as I hate to admit it, the world is full of evil folks. For every 10 of us who would love to give you an 'in person' hug, there's one idiot out there that might think it would be fun to spray paint your house - or worse. Anyone who receives positive attention is a target of those who have the worst intentions it seems.
Those you want to open up to, you will just have to do it through private email.
Too sad, but true!
Love ya,
Grannie
Yup -- I agree that you should stay anonymous. You are so open about your illness and your life, which is fine, but you also are very forthcoming about your family and your mom's illness, and I know you would not want to hurt them in any way. While my real name and location are indeed on my blog, I don't share my daughter's information and only occasionally speak about my feelings about her and my other daughter, although they are welcome to read it. I don't say anything on the blog that I wouldn't say face to face. And yes, sometimes it is a bit stifling.
Your blog is such good therapy for you, I think, and it clearly helps many of us. Keep it anonymous as you do now, and I think you'll keep the benefits.
Beth
Beth,
I didn't think about that - about me writing about mom's issues. You are right! It is best I keep this blog anonymous. That truly is probably the only way I can freely write about my life with you all.
Sir:
I think you are not anonymous! You have a pseudonym.... this is fully appropriate and gives you an identity, yet keeps your "real" identity (I prefer to think of it as your non-Internet identity) seperate. Both are REAL however, in my opinion.
PipeTobacco
http://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com
Pipe Tobacco,
Thanks for the clarification. That does make much sense. I have been reading your blog again. With your template change, I was able to "plug" you into Google Reader and follow your blog that way. I need to comment ASAP. I always miss you friend when you don't write. It can be painful.
Stay anonymous!
I agree with everyone else. Your blog is just fine they way it is.
My two cents is that you stay anonymous but share your identity with those whom you choose. I appreciate the plug being one of your first and longest readers. I do still read every day though I'm a horrible commenter. I know your identity and I appreciate the fact that you have felt that you could share that information with me but even I try to remain anonymous with my blog. I don't want my co-workers or really my family reading. Sometimes I do edit because of some of the people that I know locally that read it.
So stay anonymous, but if you have others that have followed as faithfully as Pipe and I, feel free to share more personal information with them.
By the way, I'd still love for you to come to Texas to visit some day.
Annabel,
Your blog has always been one of my favorites. I love the way you share the details of your life. I love the minutia of a blogger I am interested in. I am still going to meet you in person some day. I had a chance and blew it because I was fat and didn't want you to see me like that!
Your friend,
Andrew
Don't put your name and address out for all to see. In my opinion, that's playing with fire. There are some real nuts out there. (And just because you suffer from a mental illness does not make you nuts.)
Stay safe, no matter what.
I don't think it matters one way or another what you choose to do. One only has to read back in the past posts to gather enough information on you. Just the other day you had a picture with your house number on the mail box. In this comment section, you 'signed' your name with the real one instead of Andrew.
Having said that, I for one, would never purposly hurt you by using your information against you for the fun of it. You get my dander up often when you speak of illegal activity within your family circle, as if it's not a big deal.
Your mother driving under the influence of Xanax is a pet peeve of mine. You just said in a few posts back that she was addicted to it...something you've never admitted to even though it was obvious.
I feel that if you can't or won't protect the public, then someone should. That's where my anger comes from...fear. (Just what your other commenter said about your father.) It's not to ruin your day or put you down. It's out of genuine concern for others that could be affected by the behavior. Dead is forever, and I'd hate to see your mother in an accident then jail, paying for something she can never take back.
I don't wish you harm at all and am sorry I have been so harsh, although I stand firm in my belief that wrong is wrong, and no mental illness should change that.
On a lighter note, I found your video post very interesting. You play very well. That song brings back many memories.
William Shakespeare wrote, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. The meaning of something is important no matter what name it’s under. There’s a long history of pseudonyms throughout history. Our founding fathers, who wrote political pamphlets, used pseudonyms to mask their identities. Alexander Hamilton wrote under the names Caesar and Publius. Patrick Henry wrote under the name Senex. Benjamin Franklin wrote under a variety of names including Silence Dogood, Obadiah Plainman and Busy Body. I think the founding fathers were the 18th century equivalent of today’s bloggers! You don't need to share your real name or address to get your message across.
Sweetie -
I don't care if you're fat. I'm fat and you'd just have to deal with that! But we will meet some day. Once my schooling is done and I have real free time, I'll head your way unless you get to Texas before then.
Look - two comments in less than a year - I'm on a roll! And I even posted again today. I've missed blogging!
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