Germain to the Issue…

I had just entered Kroger and grabbed a cart. I was studying my list calculating where to go first as I made forward progress.

“Andrew! ANDREW!” someone hollered behind my back as I headed towards produce.

It was Jermaine. I hadn’t seen him in many months.

“Where have you been?” I asked him after he spooked and startled me.

“I’ve been driving up to the Kroger in Lagrange lately,” Jermaine replied. “They have much, much better prices.”

Jermaine began to ramble on about women’s basketball and my eyes glazed over and I got that one hundred yard stare that usually accompanies it. In the middle of him talking about women's hoops, I said, “Gotta run, Jermaine! Gotta get my groceries before my father arrives! Sorry!”  I was out of there like lickety split. I did notice Jermaine had a gallon of whole milk and a gigantic pack of cheap vanilla cookies in the basket of his hover-round. He pulled in to checkout as I briskly walked away.

I went off my diet tonight and bought some delicious looking apple turnovers that were fresh baked in the bakery. I went even further off the deep end and got a quart of Neapolitan ice cream. I have a weakness for ice cream and I hadn’t eaten it in months. The very foundation of my house cracked when I brought them inside. There was a clap of thunder as the voice of god chastised me. For the Magster, I got two 6-packs of Vienna sausages.

It took dad forever to get there tonight. Wine had been served is what me thinks. Several Kroger employees asked me if I needed help as I stood haplessly with my loaded cart near a checkout lane for what seemed like 30 minutes.