Everybody Bowls a Gutter Ball Sometimes...

It is getting close to burning the midnight oil and my father still has not stopped by with my medications. He is also not answering his cellphone. It kicks me into his voicemail when I try to call.

I guess I should get mad like your average plebeian and "stomp my feet at Johnny Otis" as Horsefly vitriolically says when he gets frustrated with matters like this.

I've also learned to not sweat the small stuff in life. He will be here soon so I will just have to give him time. There are just some things that I just don't have any control over.-- like my fathers actions. I feel like a live with Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde.

My biggest worry is withdrawal from my medications. I can already feel that uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I also have a mighty flighty focus to everything as well -- darting from one subject to the next. The experience could aptly be called anguish.

Ten Till Midnight...

Papa finally arrived and he was bringing treats as well -- a surefire way to assuage any of my misgivings about these matters. The way to my heart essentially and certainly begins with my stomach. Dad brought two double quarter pounder w/cheese burgers from McDonald's and an icy cold jumbo soda.

And the Heavens Opened Forth and the Ham Therefor Commenced...

http://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/

"I can't believe it rained like that so late in the evening during summer," I told my father flabbergasted as he walked across the yard to my house his hands laden with food, drinks, and medications.Dad and I could hardly hear ourselves over Maggie's jubilant barking.  

It rained for a few good hours at dusk. I then walked out into the yard to help Papa bring everything inside -- excited about this bounty we were carrying and bringing inside. 

He agreed excitedly as well about the storms and said we need the rain something terrible. We usually have to have a cold front moving through from Canada to get such a deluge and vibrant electrical storm.

"It's called heat lightning," my father further educated me. "Or an electrical storm as my mother's generation would call it."

"Your mother would also say it was coming up a cloud!" I replied with a grin. 

My father just left leaving lots of goodies behind.  He had to wait on a very large thunderstorm to rain itself out before he headed my way so that's why he was running so late. His squash casserole was better than I remember it being. We also had a ham steak. I am not crazy about ham, but I was hungry and ate it anyway tonight. The temptation to give it to my Maggie was awful strong, but I resisted the urge.

Mom also sent my diet Cokes with my father and that was so very nice. It was a surprise. I haven't felt very able to get it together enough today to go get them.

Vidalia Georgia is Just a Four Hour Drive Away...

http://www.melecotte.com/

Dad is cooking a squash casserole this evening similar to the one his mother always made. It has yellow/summer squash, Vidalia onions, sharp cheddar cheese, and a Ritz cracker crust. My father said he will bring me a plate when he comes over for the medication ritual.

Do You Love Me or Love Me Not?

One thing my mother always does to my father is to ask if he is mad at her. I played a good joke on my father when I first called and asked him if he was mad at me.

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked.

We both laughed and laughed when I let him in on the joke. .

I was supposed to go to Wal-Mart with my mother this afternoon to get tennis shoes and electric razors. By some miracle of the gods, I managed to talk my mother into holding off another week.

Hobos In Paradise...

My father was running very late tonight, but he did bring an awesome meal of "Hobos" -- a perennial treat around these parts so it was excusable. We took my crazy meds with no mishaps as Maggie vied for my father's attention.

"I liked to have never got the potatoes done in those hobos," my father told me.

My father left and the first thing I did was sit down in front of the television and eat my potato laden and meaty meal. The sauce is about the best thing of all in the meal. It about drove the Magster crazy! I gave her a little minuscule bite of the meat patty and that is all she got. It is so very. very hard to say no.

Can't Shake My Rip Van Winkle Complex...

Over time, I have learned that I slowly move more towards sleeping in the day and staying up all night. Everything is as right as rain. Nothings wrong to worry myself over. There are no phone calls or social visits at 3am in the morning and that is reassuring and comforting to a degree. I do get lonely at times in the midnight hours, though -- a price I have to pay for my sleeping schedule.

This morning, I went to bed around 7am and slept until 7pm this afternoon. My extravagant breakfast was strawberry preserves, butter, and raisin toast. This pauper's breakfast certainly was mighty fine in my eyes.

Where Did My Day Go? Oh, that's Called Yesterday...

The Grand Poo-bah has left the premises after almost bumbling the medication ritual. We almost dropped my myriad and handful of psychiatric medications between the cushions of my couch. That would have been an aggravated twist on tonight's proceedings.

My father was much too tired and not much in the mood for idle chit chat which suited me just fine. Dad just mainly wondered what was on Georgia Public Television tonight. There was a documentary on Olympic row boats. Mom would take this silence as if my father was mad at her for some reason -- always internalizing.

Soon, we were feeding and watering Maggie and my father headed on his way. I just called my mother and told her Papa was heading home.

"He's tired, mom, so don't ask him too many questions or place too many burdens upon his shoulders," I told her. "Go easy on him tonight."

Their Cat is Firmly Ensconced Within the Family...

Mom named their new cat Samantha today. The cat has a name so there is no going back now.

"We are going to call her Sam for short," my mother told me over the phone.

Mom has a flair for naming our animals. They seem to fit our pets personalities. I thought Samantha was a great name.

Mom was also getting me up stuff to do. Chores for which I didn't find pleasant.

"Let's go to Wal-Mart to get you a few more of those cordless razors and then we will go get you some new tennis shoes," she told me.

I balked because I didn't want to go today. It was thundering outside and has rained all afternoon.

"We will go Friday after my hair appointment," mom said much to my relief.

"Don't forget I am bringing you a Mexican meal tonight," my mother then told me.

They Can Sometimes Call Me the Flash...

http://www.freestufffinder.com

"Are you finished all ready?" my father asked me with a scoff --sounding rather alarmed as well. "We just got inside the store!"

Dad was standing at the magazine rack perusing publications when he looked at me over his reading glasses to say that. He also closely looked at my shopping cart.

I had a grocery list and then put each item in their respective places in the store in an order to find them as I shopped. Boom! Bam! I was out of there and I only spent $63 dollars. There were no impulse buys tonight. My only obsessiveness was buying two huge jumbo bunches of bananas. I blame that on my father as he got me hooked on that tropical treat.

"I am having an anxiety attack!" I then shakily whispered to my father as we were checking out.

It came upon me suddenly and the grocery store being bonkers didn't help matters. I've felt off for some reason all day so I knew it was on the way. It was just a matter of time.

"Just hold on a few more seconds and we will be headed home," dad whispered back after swiping his debit card.

My feeble mind did remember to get my two Mountain Dew Baja Blast lime drinks which are so enjoyable after drinking diet sodas all week. I love to drink them when I am crafting Monday nights grocery day debriefing. That is one just down and another ready to go. Ice cold!

About that time, my medications started to kick in, You could feel it in the seat of my pants and with a renewed clarity about things. I sighed with relief, and I was on my way home back down busy Hwy 29. I felt immediately better to be let loose from the frenetic insides and craziness of that grocery store.

Like Something Biblical...

I can't believe I just drove over to my parents in a blinding thunderstorm. I, of all people, should know better than to do that. I was very desperate for a cold soda. I am usually very skittish of the weather despite my love of a good thunderstorm. Always take shelter.

Luckily, my Honda has all wheel drive and sits much higher off the road than your average car. That helped me get through all the flooding in downtown West Point. There is a reason for all the flash flood warnings on the signs traversing through downtown and all us idiots were trying to drive through it.

I chose a different route while driving home -- the route that goes through my old childhood neighborhood. There were no obstacles in my way and I safely made it back to mi casa.

Let's All Eat, Drink, and Be Merry for Tomorrow May Never Come...

Ah, another Monday has come and buying groceries is right on its tail end. Mom was just asking me what I was getting as we sat in my parent's den.

"Three bags of Kroger frosted flakes and four gallons of milk," I told my mother with a smile.

Always the harbinger of good news, my mother told me that my father doesn't see how I can drink 4 gallons of milk a week. I just drank my last glass of milk earlier today. I scoffed, but I decided I best choose my battles very wisely. I wanted to say that what I eat or drink is none of his business.

"One thing I do want," I told my mother, "Is a box of those Krispy Kreme cream filled and chocolate iced doughnuts."

Mom, having similar taste buds to I, thought that sounded delicious.

What? No Charlie?

Charlie didn't arrive with my father last night for Sunday night fried chicken. My father didn't stay but just a minute himself.

"Charlie had something he had to do in Auburn," my father told me.

Maggie and I were both so disappointed. I had all the trash taken out and the kitchen was in decent shape for his visit.

Storms Come! Let Me Be Strong!

Delicious strips of smoked applewood bacon along with a folded egg and cheese served on a freshly baked buttermilk biscuit. http://www.chick-fil-a.com/

I pulled an all-nighter this morning and last night. First light is on the horizon and I still haven't gone to ye olde bed yet. I just couldn't drift off to sleep at all. I have about driven Maggie crazy with my trying every available sleeping arrangement in this house desperate for sleep. She has followed me around the house and has finally crashed on the computer room bed giving up on my antics.

May the Biscuit Be With You...

I am anxiously awaiting Charlie's arrival for Sunday morning biscuits. Hunger is the name of the game. I know beggars can't be choosers, but I sure would like some bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits this week. Last week we had sausage biscuits. The bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits just seemed more substantial and filling.

Darkness Was Brewing on the Horizon...

We badly need the rain and had some whoppers of some storms blow through yesterday afternoon. They knocked my power out two separate times sending all my computers into a state of total disarray and helter skelter. A quick change to some variables in my bios changed things so the computers don't try to boot again in such a situation. The batteries in my uninterruptible power supplies have about gone out leaving me about a 5 to 10 minute interval to save my work and shut every thing down. .

Mom and Dad's Little New Found Feline...

http://www.glogirly.com/

Mom and dad have a new addition to the family. She has been over at the river house for well over a week and dad finally relented and just decided to bring her home. She is still just a kitten. Dad left my house to go get a litter box and food last night. He had vowed a few years ago that he would never get another cat when Macy was put to sleep. Never say never I have learned over the years.

I was petting her a moment ago getting my sodas and cigars and she purred so loudly and was very affectionate. She will be a good companion to my mother as my father stays gone so much. It is a tradition that Mom names all our pets including Maggie so it will be neat to share this tabbies new name over the next few days.

Did Someone Say Filet?

http://www.primesteakhouses.com/

Dad is grilling filet mignons tonight and I certainly look forward to that. It is the only cut of meat that I will eat that seems to get under cooked and still very pink in the center. Usually, I like my steaks medium well.

"Save room for supper," my mother told me as I made up one of my Coke care packages in the coat closet.

In childlike innocence, my mother asked me if she wanted me to cut up my steak so I could chew it better.

Dangerous Liaisons...

"Come outside and look at this crazy shit," my father told me before the medication ritual tonight.

They say that alcoholism is the very definition of insanity -- trying the same thing over and over and expecting difference results to no avail.

I had been asleep for most of the day in my recliner and was jarred awake by a very loud knock on my door. My father had snuck up on me and my proximity alarm (Magster) as well. We weren't expecting him for another hour.

Apparently, George had driven into his laundry room on the carport today. The door frame was dented to hell and the laundry room door was sitting on the ground. Bricks lay scattered everywhere about. There was also some very noticeable damage to the front end of his Dodge Caravan. Dad gave me a lecture as to the fact I was headed down the same road as George before I got sober.

Maggie's Bait and Switch...

The story of my life is when the Magster wakes me up this early morning because she is lonely and hungry. What does she do as I stir about the room putting my clothes on? She goes and gets in the warm spot I left in the bed and goes back to sleep. It is called dog logic. Maggie can play me like a harp at times. Now, if we can just get her eye infection cleared up then she will be perfectly healthy.

Put the Car in the Garage Gracie and Tuck Me in to Sleep...

"I will be so glad to get home!" my father exclaimed last night loosening his necktie. "Some days are best meant to be put behind us."

To his credit, he did look down in the dumps last night. He says he has to be hyper vigilant about filling prescriptions for fears of hurting someone by giving the wrong pills. In other words, can you say lawsuit central or even deadly harm?

Dad let his guard down he was so tired last night and left a whole package of my medications sitting on the seat of my recliner. I could've had a Klonopin party, but I ran out into the front yard to get his attention so as to give him my blister pack of crazy meds. He thanked me profusely for being so honest with him about this matter. Now, if he would just put more trust in me then he would be pleasantly surprised.

George Has Got the Blue Light Blues...

http://papublicsafety.com/

The police pulled up in front of my house this afternoon lights flashing. My heart leapt up into my throat as my hands began to tremble. I didn't need this shit today.

"Are you George?" a very stoic looking police officer with heavy tinted sunglasses asked me.

These guys all looked business. I thought about what terrible deed in my drunken drinking past has come back to haunt me at first before the officer mentioned George's name.

"He lives next door to your left," I told Mr. Policeman guardedly.

I sighed as I shut my door, but I really don't want to see my very kind neighbor get in trouble.

Well, I was a terrible busybody/nosey neighbor (just call me Ethel) and stood by my porch door so I could hear what was being said.  The police department had several calls about a weaving and swerving tan Dodge van that looked just like George's car's description. The driver seemed intoxicated and a good samaritan called in to the police station with George's license plate number.

Nurses Need Vacations, Too!

https://www.pinterest.com

When I was at mom and dad's last night, I asked my father what day is my injection. He looked at the next appointment card in his wallet.

"Good thing you asked Chuck," my father replied. "Your injection is in the morning."

We had both about forgotten this little detail of my mental healthcare.

You Rang?

Dad called me this morning and I was in dreamland -- not easily awoken. The phone loudly rang which was an acute intrusion on my tender sensibilities. I almost threw my shoe at the phone.

"Get a shower and shave, put on some respectful clothes, and I will meet you at the pharmacy at nine," he told me.

Today's journey took 30 minutes from the time I left the house until I sat back down in front of this computer to write this missive. Rebecca was relieved to see me as she is on vacation next week. She said she was about to call my father.

 It is really awesome how Kamath Medical gets me in and sends me back home in such a prompt manner. I don't think i could take dawdling doctors and nurses most days and the lobby is like an icebox. I once again carried a much-needed jacket with me.

I did remember to get my coveted two regular 20oz Coca-Colas before leaving the pharmacy. I also got some cheese on wheat crackers of which I am munching on as I write this. The Lance brand is mighty tasty.

Comment Replies...

glittermom said...

What kind of hard questions does your father always say your mother asks?

LOL! This and that! She's always worried about something. 

Tonight she was doggedly determined and worried about the house alarm not engaging or turning on. Dad had to call and schedule a maintenance visit or he wouldn't have heard the end of it. I don't know why she won't call herself, but she leaves that kind of stuff up to my father. Dad decided tonight to just get a new wireless alarm system installed and that made my mother very happy.

She'll do it to me, too. I was at mom and dad's at 11pm tonight picking up some pork chops and rice and the ingredients to make more tomato sandwiches, and mom noticed I hadn't had a shave for a few days. My cordless razor is getting very dull and it pinches my skin and I explained that to her. Mom will worry and call me about it till we go to Wal-Mart and buy a new one. One cordless razor lasts me about a year.  

There is a Lot Going On In Papa's Kitchen...

"Can I take my medications early today?" I timidly asked my father  as I rolled the dice of fate over the phone this afternoon.

It was a long shot, but I had to ask anyway. My father had the ingredients for a decent afternoon or a miserable existence. I did this after the cursory phone call filled with pleasantries and greetings.

Maggie and I had just crawled out of the bed about 4pm. The withdrawal was pretty acute today for some unknown reason. I wanted to cover my head and sleep the day away, but my circadian rhythms decided it was time to wake up for another day.

"Give me fifteen minutes so I have time to get home," my father said leaving Kroger. "And we will get you fixed up."

Dad said he was cooking his pork chops and Campbell's chicken and rice soup concoction. It is always delicious and he said himself or Charlie would bring me by a plate tonight.

I was astonished that was so easy. There were no gnashing of teeth and hard questions to answer. It was a simple phone call and a drive over to get my medications. Everybody was glad to see me.

As I drove to my parents, I noticed Fred's Super Dollar was crazy busy -- tons of cars in the parking lot. I was going to stop for some Johnny Otis sanctioned cashew bits and peices but decided to forego Fred's after seeing that.

For This We Shall Bark and Be Merry...

http://www.cnet.com/roadshow

Maggie and I were both so glad to see Papa pull up in front of the house in the X5 tonight. Maggie yelped with pleasure as I said a hearty, "YES!" It was medication time for this crazy old coot and his entourage of canines and a mish mash of computers.

Dad didn't stay long, but I sure was glad to see him. He was the only human I had seen all day except for a few cameos from my mother. I was lonesome for some company that was interested in what I was saying and not just interested in what I was eating (Magster).

"Do you think mom will give a greeting as good as Maggie's?" I asked my father in jest as we walked out into my front yard amid twinkling fireflies.

Maggie really was especially overjoyed to see my father tonight. She has a big wolf-pack to look over and provide for. They must check in from time to time.

"Nine times out of ten your mother will meet me at the garage door asking hard questions and worrying over various problems," my father replied. "I can barely get my tie off and the onslaught begins."

The Dog Days of Summer...

Sirius, the dog star, is here above the horizon and boy is he hot. The dog days of summer are well underway. This kind of weather keeps the Magster and I in the well air-conditioned indoors. It was a quick trip to go get my sodas a few minutes ago -- my car feeling like a blast furnace in the bowels of hell. My Honda was finally cooling down as I pulled in my parent's back driveway.

I didn't know Sirius was a binary solar system with Sirius A and the much smaller white dwarf star Sirius B (about the size of the earth).

"Don't forget I am bringing you a Mexican meal tonight," my mother told me sticking her head out of the back door as I reached for my cokes.

She startled me and I told her many thanks once I had regained my composure. I had cooked some pepperoni pizza hot pockets and will just save them for later.

I Better Start Looking for that Needle in the Haystack...

Because that's about how it feels. I don't have much hopes of getting my internet changed to a much higher speed. I am going try once more with asking my father if I could do something to help him in exchange. Remember, you always catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I ought to just be thankful for what I have, but this is very important to me.

Ingrid Michaelson - Charlie [Lyrics]

Hot Dog Heaven...

https://www.hy-vee.com

Dad and I performed the medication ritual while we bantered back and forth between us about various topics.

"Come on son and let's go get you some groceries," he said to me as he stood up from the couch.

The last light of dusk was on the horizon at 9pm. Dad marveled how long the days seem lately.

I met my father at Kroger's and we headed inside to get this necessary and dreaded ritual underway.

I got two large bags of Ball Park hot dog buns and some Hebrew National bun length franks tonight. I've been craving them for days and my dream came true.

My father doesn't like the "frou-frou" Hebrew National franks and he told me so.

"I just want a regular plain jane hot dog like Charlie grills them," my father told me with his nose upturned.

Charlie's grilled hot dogs are certainly delicious I had to agree.

"You got me hooked on these," I told my father with a grin as I put 3 very large bunches of bananas on the conveyor belt to be rung up.

They had organic bananas on sell tonight and the price was exorbitant.

I got Maggie some Pupperoni dog treats before leaving and she seems to like them. This aspect of Monday night will probably become a regular part of Monday night grocery shopping so Maggie won't feel so left out. Maggie better not go bury them in the backyard as it will be a feast for the neighborhood opossums and raccoons.

I'll Take a Flogging for $1000 Alex...

There are a dozen things I would rather be doing than buying groceries tonight. I am just not in the mood for doing that chore this evening. I would rather sit here and be hungry. My father won't take no for an answer, though. Never does. He is such a task master most days about this matter.

"You will be glad you have it done when you get home and put up your groceries," he will tell me.

He's pretty much right. It will be nice to have something alternative like milk to drink for a few days.

I am so sorry today that I haven't even gone and got my soda allotment for the evening. It seems like such a gargantuan task. I always buy a bunch of junk food when I grocery in such moods as well. Get in and get out as fast as I can is my modus operandi.

Charlie brought me a grand meal yesterday evening. In a plastic sack were two deliciously grilled hamburgers, potato salad, zesty slaw, baked beans, and a delicious slice of Horsefly's store bought birthday cake. Charlie also brought my medications to take. We fed and watered Maggie and then Charlie was on his way.

The Internet at Warp Speed...

WOW! introduced a new internet speed last week and I am so very much drooling.  It is an astonishingly fast 300 Mbps down and 20 Mbps up. It costs $89.99 a month. I did a little begging last night and will continue to do so today. It would be my dream come true. In juxtaposition, I have 30 Mbps down and 5 Mbps up at the moment.

"I wish you could work and get these kinds of things with your own money," my father told me callously last night.

I had a face-palm moment for a few seconds there when my father said that.

The Chuck-wagon Extraordinaire...

http://wallpaperfx.com/

My proximity alarm (Maggie) went off around 8am. Charlie and I got to bantering as he was feeling good and feeling verbose. I told him I got a great night's sleep as well.

"How many people are you having over for Horsefly's birthday?" I asked Charlie already guessing he invited a ton of folks.

"I asked over 20 people to come so I better go home and get to grilling," Charlie replied.

Dad said last night that Charlie is about to get too old for this. Charlie is 71 himself these days. He's no spring chicken.

"I will see you around 4 or 5 with your burgers," Charlie said as he was leaving.

He still had few more deliveries to complete on this our Sunday morning biscuits ritual.

With Trembling Hands I Greet You...

"Your aunt wants you to come to her birthday party this afternoon. She specifically asked for you," my father told me during the medication ritual.

My aunt Pam and I were kindred spirits when I was growing up.

My mind started to racing wildly and went into a frenzy mode. I've got to find a way to get out of this and fast. 

"Tell her I love her, but I am not going to being to make it," I told Johnny Otis. "Be honest and tell her I have social anxiety."

Dad made me feel better when he said he had a billion betters things to do with his time as well. That made me light-hearted and feeling better.

Horsefly Turns 45 Young Years in Age...

The doctors always warned Charlie that Horsefly wasn't going to live very long. Well, he's 45 today as well despite the odds and Charlie is grilling hamburgers.

"I'm bringing you some burgers this afternoon so don't ruin your appetite,"  Charlie told me.

Lights, Darkness, Distance...

https://spiritualclarity.wordpress.com

"Your father is on the way," my mother told me over the phone after our customary one ring and call back.

I love it when mom calls and gives me a heads up like that. ETAs are always welcomed. Maggie and I both took our places on the couch on lookout for Papa. Ten cars drove down the main drag and then a black Honda, the eleventh car, pulled up next to my curb. Maggie went bonkers when she recognized my father's CR-V.

Moments Later...

The medication ritual is in the books. Dad and I both were in quiet and somber moods tonight -- not much talking going on. Maggie has usurped my usual sitting spot next to my father. She's the big dog of the house and she knows it. I have to now sit in the recliner next to the couch.

"You tell them how it is going to be, girl!" my father said with a hearty laugh as I looked upon this in dismay.

Dad brought me more welcomed leftover corned beef hash of which I am about to partake in as soon as my medications soak in. He also cooked me a small and fresh pan of cornbread which was very appreciated. Dad cooks what we call "egg bread" in the South as he adds an egg or two to the batter to make the cornbread much richer.

Birds Gotta Fly and Fish Gotta Swim...

I do believe I am going to have to break down and buy one of these video cards. It has gotten stellar reviews and is only $239.99. It even has 8GB of vram at that price. They are touting some kind of revolutionary "polaris architecture" which I need to go read more of what the hubbub and excitement is about. They are all claiming it is virtual reality ready as well (VR for the masses). 

Radeon RX 480 DirectX 12 PCI Express 3.0 x16 ATX Video Card $239.99

A Day Off is a Good Day Indeed...

My father usually has to work most Thursdays. I called him to ask a question and to give him a financial warning. He surprised me in a good fashion by being at home.

"What is momma doing?" I asked him very curiously.

Dad was drinking a diet Coke and watching the television.

"She is watching me and asking me a hundred hard questions," dad told me as we both chuckled. "She is also so excited that she can see and read without her glasses."

You could hear my mother chuckle nervously in the background.

"I am going to go fill up my car with gas so don't be surprised at the $25 dollar or more charge on my debit card," I told him.

I wanted to ask for my medications but held off for the time being.  I was feeling some slight to moderate withdrawal. 9:30pm will be here before I know it, though.

"Just bring me the receipt," my father told me cautiously.

Just in the Kitchen with My Gal and Cooking...

https://www.pinterest.com

The first local garden grown tomatoes are showing up at the farmer's markets. Maggie just lay on the floor for 5 minutes as I prepared myself a tomato sandwich. She took one smell and decided it wasn't for her. I further perpetuated the confusion down South by either choosing Duke's or Blue Plate mayonnaise. People swear by both. I prefer Blue Plate.

"Save some room for supper," my father just told me over the phone. "I am bringing you some corned beef hash."

Gonna End Up a Big Old Pile of Them Bones...

I know it's kinda macabre, but my father and I were discussing death and the afterlife this morning. Dee's funeral Sunday prompted this.

"It is very scary to some people that there is nothingness after they die," he told me told me very animatedly. "There is no afterlife at all when you take that 'celestial' dirt nap."

My father is a weird kind of Atheist. He loves to go to church to listen and participate in music. He just takes the proselytizing about Jesus with a grain of salt.

"That's why we've got over 4000 different religions on this planet," I replied. :"They call it the God part of the brain."

Dad went off on this long winded diatribe that obtaining immortality is via your genes.

"I guess that's is why I am a genetic dead end?" I asked him when our discussion moved on to Darwin and evolution.  .

I reiterated my desire to be be cremated and poured into our little lake. I also wrote about one of my cardinal sins which is to never discuss politics and religion on the blog.

I Gamble and My Mother Wins...

I say I gambled as the weather was about to turn terrible -- the weather radar is lit up like a Christmas tree this evening.

I just drove over to check on my mother. She is home after surgery this morning. Her eye looks all nasty and bloodshot. She wanted me to call the clinic to check if that was okay.

"You're fine," I told my mother.

"The doctor said that would happen," my father deftly chimed in not wanting this to get any more complicated.

Strong thunderstorms were bearing down upon us from Troup County Georgia. I quickly drove home after a cursory visit. Dark and ominous clouds chased me all the way.



Medication Time? 7:30pm? 3 Cheers For Papa!

I swear that just was the earliest visit my father has ever endowed me with. He was on my heels from my previous drive to see my mother. Dad gave me my medications and left to beat the storm clouds home. You could see vivid lightning on the horizon from a second round of storms blowing in.

"Watch," my father told me. "The storms will fizzle out before they get here as the earlier ones did. We so need the rain."

"Magnificent Me," He Said Before His Final Blunder...

Vertigo was for breakfast this morning as I woke up not knowing where I was or what time of the day it was. I looked at my alarm clock and it was 1pm. Boy, Maggie and I sure can do some sleeping these days.

I guess I am truly my mother's son as we are so much alike. Hell, dad says I got the worst of him and momma both gene wise. I am just one big amalgamation of bad genes and anxiety wrapped up in one messy blundering package.

I have been foregoing breakfast since Maggie can't join in. A friend suggested that I scramble her two eggs completely plain, It would be good protein for Maggie, but I am not going to jeopardize the incredible turnaround she's had healthwise lately. She is like a different dog -- not spending all her time scratching in misery. The poor thing can rest now. One eye is still a little infected, but I hope it clears up soon as it looks a whole helluva lot better. Her left eye is completely clear. She looks more bright eyed and bushy tailed with each day that passes.

http://www.thewallyworldwoman.com/

Last night's grocery shopping blunder was to get Underwood's chicken spread and roast beef spread. I was so aggravated with myself when I got home and decided to have a before bed snack with some Ritz crackers and some hot sauce. I meant to get deviled ham as that is what I love most. The chicken spread was kind of weird tasting.

Retro Game of the Week. Think Green...

Look and ye shall find was never more true about this game and the mods made for it. I am just getting around to playing Fallout 3 and everything had this horrid green tint and hue to it. I looked on the Mod Nexus for Fallout 3 and found that I wasn't the only one wanting to remedy this. I downloaded the mod to remove the green tint and I've been a happy camper ever since. Isn't the difference so stark? I guess the programmers and designers wanted it to have an irradiated look since the game is set in Washington D.C. 200 years after nuclear armageddon.

Night Owls Unite...

I don't know why I am up so early. I went to sleep on the computer room bed around 11pm and woke up about 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. Maggie's keeping the bed warm for the both of us, though.

We're Going Bananas Around Here Literally...

https://authoritynutrition.com

Several weeks ago, my father put a bunch of bananas in my cart on a whim and I have been hooked on them ever since then. I don't think I have eaten raw bananas in years except in banana puddings. Well, it has become my new food obsession. I got two large and very heavy bunches of bananas tonight -- one big bunch was slightly green so they would last the week.

"Good source of potassium," my father told me about bananas as they were ringing me up. "You are making me crave a banana sandwich."

I only spent $68 dollars tonight which is much, much more within my means than last week's $90 something dollar shopping spree. The most expensive and needed thing I bought tonight was trash bags of all things. Charlie got my last one yesterday when he was sprucing up my kitchen on our Sunday night fried chicken rendezvous.

Dad helped me load up my groceries in the back of my CR-V and then said he was headed back inside Kroger for yogurt. We gave each other a hug and I headed on home. There are thunderstorms all around us and they are very neatly lighting up the skies of our horizons. They will die down a few hours after sunset -- the sun and warm rising air being their source of energy.

http://www.belmontetradeinternational.com/

Busy Around Here...

http://www.no1chinesesouthorange.com/

Mom and I are playing phone tag this afternoon. She's got a million things to tell me and can't fit it all in one simple phone call.

Tomorrow is the last part of her cataract surgery -- her right eye. She sounded excited about it when I called her last hour to come and get my Cokes. The Secretary lives for this kind of stuff. I have told my father often that mom is a health insurance companies worst nightmare and I am saying it again for emphasis.

"I am giving you two days of sodas and we are going to the Zen House Chinese reastaurant to eat supper this week if the surgery goes okay," my mother told me.

Mom called me right back to ask how many Swisher Sweet cigarillos I wanted. I told her just to put two packs of cigarillos  in the bag with my Cokes.

Dad called me earlier from work and told me to get ready to get my groceries tonight.

"It is the only chance we have to get them this week," he told me. "Don't have an anxiety or panic attack!!!"

He sounded happy and chipper which was fine  by me. At least we won't have a grouchy and grumpy Papa for grocery night and he might put a few extra groceries in my cart. He heads to the beach with his cousins, Jean and Johnny, in a few days.

A Sad and Somber Day...

http://www.cremationresource.org/

I went to a very sad and sudden funeral service today where lots of tears and tissues were in abundance. Dee had lots of admirers and friends I noted. Dad went with me as he had gotten to know Dee very well working in the pharmacy all those years.  She had worked at Kamath Medical for 21 revolutions around the sun. Now I know why everyone was so somber Thursday during my injection visit.

"She went to the emergency room the other night for chest pains and they ran some tests and found out she had advanced stage leukemia," my father told me as we were driving to the funeral service. "She didn't last much longer than that!"

"You've gained some weight," Dr. Kamath said to me with a warm smile. "You look healthier."

Dee got cremated. I told my father I also wanted to get cremated as well. I want my ashes to be poured into our pond out in God's country near Waverly, Al.

And the World and Life Marches Ever Forwards...

My father and Charlie are now out and about getting our Sunday night fried chicken. Mom, the rebellious one, is getting her usual Wendy's hamburger. I just went and emptied all my trash so Charlie wouldn't feel compelled to do so. I am getting my usual which is a 3 piece box of original recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken. Someone pass the hot-sauce and the napkins.

Annabel...

Sorry about yesterday. I am simply bereft of social skills. I had one of my classic panic/anxiety attacks about the whole matter. I just didn't feel able to go through all that needed to be done to for a visit. I just shutdown and went and hid. Know that I care about you very much. It just wasn't in the stars or cards for me.

Unabashedly Right...

You all were right. I was just too stubborn and set in my ways to believe it. Most of Maggie's yeast infection on her chest has cleared up after a week of only eating her dog-food.  It's been a struggle for Maggie and myself. Maggie is being very vocal when she doesn't get her usual breakfast or people food.

Almost Rained Out...

http://www.hardwareheaven.com/

It has rained very steadily here for about 2 hours -- sometimes a true gully washer of a rain in fits. We needed the rain something fierce as we are now considered in a drought across central Alabama.

It reminded me of Christmas Eve when we got a similar deluge and many bridges were washed out around here -- most are still washed out.

"Let's get the computer in through the door under the portico," My father told me as we stood in the garage.

I got everything hooked up after my father gave me my medications and a cold drink -- it was one of mom's tutti fruity low calorie drinks which was quite tasty. Mom stood in the room doing her duty which was asking us numerous complicated questions. Dad called her the "facilitator" to which my mother chuckled nervously. I smiled and chuckled as well.

"Watch this!" I told my father with a broken Cheshire grin after pushing the power button.

It took the computer about 20 seconds to boot up. All kudos go to solid state drives.

"My old computer would take minutes to boot up," my father told me looking astounded and also astonished.

Dad's been without a computer for about two weeks. He said he was ready to get a diet Coke and browse some of his favorite British Monarchy tabloid webpages.

"Tomorrow, we will get all the files and emails transferred from your old computer to your new computer," I told my father ready to drive home.

I left and headed home to man's best friend. Maggie was sitting in the window watching out and waiting for me.