I realized this morning that I have been mired in the negative symptoms of schizophrenia for weeks. It was as if some great, dark, and looming fog of funk has lifted. I'm noticing me doing little things like taking out the trash and cleaning my microwave. I shaved this morning and it wasn't an effort. These little things mean so much to me. It just hammers home how I shouldn't play with my medications or take them so lightly. I was really playing with fire there for a few weeks with not taking them.
Hope can be so fleeting for a person suffering from mental illness. It always seems you take three steps forward and two steps back. I can honestly say I have hope today and it feels good -- so good in fact that I want to walk for hours, clean my house, and do my laundry. I want to call Rosa and tell her all about it. Things unthinkable a week ago. I also want to eat healthily and will brush my teeth after not having done so for weeks. I wish I could feel like this all the time.
10 comments:
I'm glad you're better. I know all about the teeth brushing thing. Luckily, I have Fred to parent me with "Have you brushed your teeth today?" I wish you a happy new year my friend! And remember, whatever you are doing when the clock strikes midnight, is how your year will go.
sharyna
Andrew,
Check out my weather forecast!
Temperatures could dip into the 20s this week on the Treasure Coast after a cold front comes through on New Year’s Day.
Temperatures will start dropping into the middle 30s to lower 40s Tuesday when a cold front brings cool air down through the state, and by Wednesday daytime temperatures could be anywhere from the mid 30s to low 40s, said Tim Sedlock, a forecaster with the National Weather Service in Melbourne.
“It’s a much stronger cold front than we’ve seen recently with a lot of cold and drier air behind it,” Sedlock said.
There will also be some winds starting Tuesday and lasting into Wednesday, with winds gusting near 20 miles per hour Wednesday night, Sedlock said.
The coldest weather will be on Thursday, with temperatures anywhere from the upper 20s to lower 30s, unless the Treasure Coast gets the shore flow, which could bring more moisture in the air and warm temperatures up a bit.
Officials at the American Red Cross in Martin and St. Lucie counties said they will not make a decision whether to open cold weather shelters until later in the week.
But the cold won’t last until the weekend, Sedlock said. Temperatures will start warming up on Friday and by Saturday, they should be back to normal temperatures of lower to mid 70s.
I'm glas your feeling well today. What a way to ring out the old year and in the new.
Lacey
You sound so together this morning. It's great to know you are doing well.
Give little Maggie a pat on the head for me. She is soooo much like my Jamaica!
Happy 2008! I have a feeling this will be a good year.
Happy New Year Andrew!
Andrew,
Happy New Year to you a bit early. We are going to travel out of town to baby-sit our grandchildren - I can't wait. They smell so good & I love their smiles & their laughter. It makes my heart sing!
I am also going to look at a new puppy tonight -- yay!
But MOST OF ALL ... I am HAPPY that you are doing better & things are falling into place for you.
I wish you the best New Year ever Andrew -- I pray all your days are good & I hope 2008 brings that to your gentle heart.
Hugs to you friend!
Kirs ~
Eek, be careful with the not brushing your teeth thing. That and 24 cans of non-diet soda a day can equal disaster in a few years.
Glad your outlook is looking up. :)
I’m really glad to hear you’re feeling hopeful and good. I know what a relief it is to be able to take care of the details of daily life.
wow can i relate to so much of what you shared with things that others just do but us who struggle with mental illnesses and such little things get forgotten or not cared to do such as brushing teeth and also for me is wearing socks that match or clean or eating food out of the cans or not heating things up. i am sure that joyce wants to come home but she does need to wait until she can from the place she is at and since she has had a few episodes in the last months most likely they want to keep her to make sure she is stable.
You sound so good today, friend. I'm so happy!
It makes me happy to hear you sound so good!
Lena
After about an hour conversation I was diagnosed as bipolar. Shocked me~associate bipolar with it's old name: Manic/Depressive. I would not have been surprised at schizophrenia. My symptoms were not so severe that I tore down ceilings during high paranoid states and I never rule out a split personality. It is like I stay privately "crazy" and publicly "normal".
I could cry thinking back to 1998 and my first diagnosis: Job Stress. A nephew is schizophrenic, so have done some studying on the disorder~I still do not rule it out for me.
Reading about your low followed by the high, that sounds more bipolar to me~except you got a boost from the meds. My nephew was labeled as "learning disabled" as a child and I do not think I ever saw him with a burst of energy.
I hated to see what meds did to him. Which is one reason I refused to try my prescribed ones. The psyche doc told me my label was not important because the prescription also is prescribed to people with schizophrenia.
Whether your dad cares or is like my sister who likes her son sedated, or not, at least you seem to have the correct medication to help you.
I actually have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. All 3 disorders cause similar symptoms. I think that is where split/personality comes in~when I still worked I could be doing very 'normal' tasks while at the same time dealing with the voices in my head. Or experiencing other hallucinations that I thought were normal.
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