I think I've done pretty well settling back into the bachelor's life. I still hear from Rosa often on the phone, but make no qualms about wanting to be single now. Loneliness hits at times, but I usually throw myself into hiking, this blog, or with keeping up with email.
I talked to Rosa a short while ago. Not long after my mother had left.
"I've got some extra money this month," she told me. "You want to go to the movies tonight?"
"I don't have much gas," I replied, and I didn't. My car's gas gauge is hovering above empty.
"How 'bout you cook us a meal? I would love your spaghetti."
"Nah, I don't feel like doing all that tonight," was my reply. "I just kinda want to be alone tonight."
"Call me if you change your mind," she said disheartened and hung up.
I've found my life is better the simpler it is. I have also found I have far less urges to drink now that I am single and not burdened with the complexities of a relationship. That old AA saying about waiting a year before dating is true. It certainly is easier to stay sober single. I will be going on eighteen days without a drink tomorrow. Well over two weeks and I am pleased as punch. I haven't been prouder about something in years. It gives me hope that I can learn to live without my old crutch, alcohol. Every day is a gift -- a gift of sobriety, and I don't want to do anything to upset that.
12 comments:
You should be proud of yourself. I know I'm proud of you. Not only for staying sober for 18 days, but for knowing your limits. Knowing what will aid in keeping you healthy is a huge part of it.
Take care dear friend!
Rosa seems very nice but if she drinks and fills your life with other sweet complexities than I don't blame you if you demur at an encounter with her. We sometimes walk on a razor's edge with psychosis and addictions and it is better to keep it simple.
Way to go! I know how hard it is! I had an idea that sometimes not always but sometimes helped me when I was thinking of using...make a list of things that you want or need and if you spend the money drinking that you will not have them...as I said way to go you are doing great! I also want to say from experience that it really is true that waitng to date a year is helpful. i did not do that and I regret that i did not do that years ago when I got sober..........
You are so smart.
Hey Andrew seems like your doing good these days. I love peeking in on your life. "HI TO YOUR CUTIE MOM" She is awesome to you.
Stacy
Amen. Every day is a gift. I'm glad to hear that you are doing so well with staying sober! Excellent! Maybe some people are just meant to be single, or at least for a part of their life. If it doesn't feel right, like the movies or dinner, you shouldn't go on with it. Which I'm glad you didn't. Thanks for the encouraging comment!
Ellie.
Good for you, Andrew! You’re making wise decisions about what is best for you. That is not always easy to do, but you're doing a great job.
DUDE! Your mom is HOT!
JK - but tell her I said that anyway.
Congratulations on the 18 days! A word of caution - don't get TOO proud and get sucked into the illusion of "I did this all by myself - I am stronger than this disease....." You know where that road leads.
Haven't heard you mention an AA meeting lately. Still going?
Peace and hope you get some of this snow before the winter's over. I'm certainly "diggin it" (metaphorically and literally).
Congratulations on the eighteen days, only two more to twenty. Go for it!
You sound content. I'm glad. I hope it's a good weekend:)
You are making great choices for your life these days, Andrew! I wish that I had been that wise at your age! Relationships do require a lot of energy and can be very stressful, you will know when and if you are ready. Kudos on maintaining your sobriety eighteen days now - I knew you could do it! It is just awesome to see you riding out the ups and downs and doing so well!
Congrats at 18 days of being sober! Relationships can be very stressful, even when you want to be in them. :-)
Tee
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