Felt as if I was having an out-of-the-body experience today. I felt like a third person watching my life unfold. My concentration is totally lost, thus my lack of updates lately.
"What have you been smoking?" Ferret asked me this afternoon as I was wasting time at the shopping center.
"Nothing," I replied defensively. "I am stone cold sober."
"You are acting as if you are high on pot."
Ferret studied my eyes for the tale tales signs of them being bloodshot. My eyes were as white as the clouds in the sky.
"Something's different about you," he said.
"I quit taking five of my medications," I replied. "It is going to take some time to come down from them. Four to six weeks I read online."
"You know what happens to me when I don't take my meds," Ferret said, looking concerned.
"You usually end up sleeping in a tent down by the river," was my reply. And I was right. Ferret always ends up homeless and his drinking gets exponentially worse.
Ferret and I talked a long time about the side effects of our medications.
"I am tired of feeling flat and lifeless," I said. "I want to feel all my emotions, good and bad."
"Let's just hope the bad doesn't outweigh the good," Ferret replied snarkily.
I am also noticing strange things happening with my body. My sense of smell and taste have improved ten fold. Almost to the point of being overbearing. I can sleep twelve hours a day. I've become a much more emotional creature. My laughing has never been so jovial and felt so good, and my despair has never felt so dark and deep. The pendulum that is my emotive life is swinging long and hard these days.
15 comments:
DO you think it's good for your body though? I only say that because I remember the hell my body went through when I stopped taking my meds cold turkey..it really jacked with my system. Come to find out that had I only spoken to my doctor they'd have worked out a plan to wean...perhaps a wean is a good thing right now? Especially before Christmas?
Thinking of YOu my Friend!
Always, ALWAYS,
Crusty!
Maggie take care of your dad, okay?
arf! Snuggle with him and give him lots of kisses until he's feeling better. :)
Well, I wish you a Merry Christmas! I hope the pedulum swings less dramatically for you for the holidays.
It is kind of scary to think of how harsh not taking meds can be on a body. Makes you wonder how harsh taking the meds were for your body and mind!
I hope that all stays well through Christmas. I am still very, very proud of you for reaching the 32 day mark! (Happy dance and hugs for you!)
In mid January or toward the end, Armando and I will be leaving for Chile for a two months to visit his family ( his Mom and Sister). I am taking my notebook and I'll post pictures of our trip ans blog from time to time. I think you would like the mountains and scenery there. I will have you in my thoughts!
I am relieved, the doctor gave me an ok for the trip despite having a pressure sore. But I have to take along plenty of nutritional drinks and carnation instant breakfast so I continue to heal and get the right nutrition.
Haaaaaaaaappy Holidays my Dear friend!
P.S. We are crazy because we are about to go to a store to beat the crowds at almost 1:34 a.m. LOL But heck, we work usually at this hour so we are wide awake.
-Michelle
Some medications need to be weaned off or they can have drastic results. Ferret sounds like a smart man these days. At least he is concerned for you.
My advice is NOT to try to go cold turkey.
About 15 years ago, my Mom decided to quit taking her daily low dose of valium, which she had been on since the mid-seventies. She went cold turkey.
BIG mistake. She felt like she was going to jump out of her skin and she wept uncontrollably because of the death of her cat. Yes, she dearly loved that cat, but she knew that her grief was out of bounds.
Result: she was completely convinced that she could not live without valium. She's on it to this day. She's 98. She doesn't really need it, but she's convinced she does. I think it would have been better if she had gone off it gradually.
Hey, you're on 32 today! Great!
Be proud!
Love yourself!
Enjoy your LJ's!
View your world outside your windows with the new curtains that you will have in a few days!! :)
YEA!!
Always,
Crusty~
Have a great Saturday!
miss ya!
Hey Andrew. Take care of yourself my friend. I have been worried about you and thinking about u lately. I don't know much about ur meds, but u know which of those meds is important I guess, which u need to take, which is unnecessary. Just don't leave out the one u know u need :)
For wht it is worth, I always find u are a person rich with emotions. A writer's feelings ring clearly through his writings. Just look back at ur past writings, which are far from being flat and lifeless.
Take care and good morning. Had a big breakfast??
It is better to taper off in a very gradual way but if you can handle it cold turkey then that is good. I have dispensed with most medications but will take an anti-psychotic if my mental state demands it. It is always good to take the edge off of paranoia lest we end up in the jailhouse.
Happy 32 days sobriety! Like everyone else, I'm concerned for you, going cold turkey on so many medications...it's not good for your body and hope you'll be okay! Merry Christmas!
Congrats on the 32 days friend. I'm proud of you! I won't be on as much through Christmas, so know I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best for the holiday!
First of all...I am very happy to read you have decided to cut down. I'm one of those readers who secretly thought you were overmedicated...
I know several people with mental issues who had a dramatic improvement in their quality of life, once they reduced the amount of (often ineffective) medication.
But.
Please do this carefully. These meds are extremely toxic and their withdrawal can mess you up so bad, it can make you think you actually need them.
Have you been here? ---> http://www.furiousseasons.com/
Andrew, wishing you well with your pills. Thinking of you often.
sharyna
I am concerned about you...first off I think all adults have the right to take meds or not have control over his or her body ect. I am concerned becase of what I went thru when I took myself off my medications and did not wean myself off the medications...i ended up in the hospital. I really do not want you to end up in the hospital or disappearing for a week or two...again i am not trying to tell you what to do or not to do just wanted to remind you of what i went thru just recently please take good care of yourself...and i do get how things can be so much clearer and such when i do not take my medications. it has pros and cons either way...
I am concerned about you...first off I think all adults have the right to take meds or not have control over his or her body ect. I am concerned becase of what I went thru when I took myself off my medications and did not wean myself off the medications...i ended up in the hospital. I really do not want you to end up in the hospital or disappearing for a week or two...again i am not trying to tell you what to do or not to do just wanted to remind you of what i went thru just recently please take good care of yourself...and i do get how things can be so much clearer and such when i do not take my medications. it has pros and cons either way...
Have you been following the 80-car pile up that happened outside of Amarillo earlier today? It's in the opposite direction of where Annabel was heading. I hope she got there okay. I have been trying to reach her by phone, with no luck. These are the times when I hate snow.
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