Monday, September 17, 2018

The Easy Street to Obesity…

“Jermaine? If I wanted to get really fat what would I eat?”

Jermaine chuckled nervously.

“Are you serious?” Jermaine cautiously asked.

“I am dead serious,” I replied.

“Well, I would start at the Hostess aisle and stock up on Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs. Stuff like that.”

“That sounds good!” I replied excitably.

“Get you three or four boxes of Poptarts and some whole milk to wash it all down with,” he continued.

“You know what I have a hankering for?” I said looking deep in thought. “I want ice cream and lots of it.”

“That’ll do the trick,” Jermaine said grinning. “That will really put the weight on you.”

Jermaine cocked his head at me and asked me if I were really serious again.

“I am just dreaming,” I finally replied, patting him on the back and cackling. “If I was going to get fat, I would want to do it in style.”

“I thought you had gone off the deep end, Andrew,” Jermaine told me with a sigh of relief.

Old Fuss and Feathers would have a fit if showed up at checkout with a cart full of that kind of stuff.

In contrast to tonight’s proceedings, I only spent $57 dollars on my groceries. I just couldn’t eat any more of those bland frozen meals which are so expensive.

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