I laid in bed for a long time last night thinking about working. I was tabulating the amount I could make a week at minimum wage. The money really adds up over the weeks. I grew so excited! I hate to keep harping on working, but I feel this is the next step for me. That first step of independence after being dependent for years.
My main concern with working is will I stick with it once I start. I know myself well, and work will get routine and tiresome over time. I have my disability to fall back on and can live on it if need be -- that is a tempting deterrence to working full time. I used to be so conditioned to going to work and rarely missed a day. I worked for years, drank, and still only missed a day or two. The hardest part for me will be getting up by alarm clock and taking a shower every morning. Perseverance! Will I quit to just languish in my meager disability allotment? I think often of Kevin, The Homeless Guy, Barbieux, and think we are a lot alike in this regard. I have no doubt he has already quit his job as he hasn't written about it in weeks. Maddeningly, he is writing a blog about Pit Bull attacks which serves no purpose other than to stir up arguments with Pit Bull owners -- so Kevin can prove he is right that Pit Bulls are dangerous. His priorities have always been so skewed.
I still haven't heard from Circle K or McDonald's, but I applied online. I am now thinking it would better serve myself to drive down and get an application. There is just no substitute to putting on some nice clothes and pounding the ground for a job, visiting every place in town. I did find a temp agency downtown and need to talk to them as well, but my social anxieties are getting in the way. I feel I look weird and people are staring at me. "Doesn't he look odd? He looks mentally ill!" I seem to believe they are thinking.
9 comments:
I don't think you are anything like the homeless guy, Kevin. He is mean, obstinate, belligerent, and he is a drain on the social services of Nashville. The last thing he needs to be doing is writing a blog about pit bulls. I was flabbergasted when I just visited and read that. He needs to be concentrating on getting a home and putting all his efforts towards that. I find you kind, helpful, and generous. All things he is not. You have a much better chance at life because of your attitude. Kevin's attitude is what keeps him homeless and sleeping in rescue missions.
Congrats on reaching day 70 sober. Good for you!
((((hugs))))
Keep up the good attitude! You can do this, and keep with it if you try...
sharyna
My dad always said that looking for a job is an 8 hour per day job. I know you will find one.
I know the McD's around here have open interview days. You just show up and have an interview on the spot. Does the one near you do that?
Isn't minimum wage only $7.50 an hour now. Mickey D's around here starts at $10-$12 an hour.
sharyna
Hi Andrew,
I agree that nothing beats pounding the pavement when it comes to finding work. Employers like to see who they are contemplating for employment. You by no means look mentally ill dear.
Go.....do good....be proud.
what jobs have you held in th past? do you have a degree?
what job did you enjoy most? which one did you hate?
I can understand your social anxieties when it comes to looking for a job.... its because we feel so vulnerable. It's like setting yourself up for rejection, sometimes. I've had the same feelings from time to time. But I think if you put your mind to it, you can do it. You're a strong person, Andrew. Now... go do it! Good luck!!
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