I've struggled more recently with my addictions and mental illness than I have in years. I am just going to break away from the gang. I feel they are bad influences on me. I came so close to re-pawning my camera and getting some beer this afternoon. This means no more going down to the shopping center and hanging out. I will still occasionally see some of them on my jaunts to the railyard, though.
I fear this will make my blog boring and I hate to see it die, but it is dying. We will just see how it goes. Maybe I can make the mundane interesting. I've felt so badly that my writing has suffered as well. I appreciate those of you that continue to comment and have suffered through some of my more embarrassing moments. It is for you that I write this blog. I just feel I am having to try so hard with this blogging thing, and it should come natural as it always has.
31 comments:
Your blog is NOT boring. It's a fascinating look into your life that we would never see if you didn't write!
Your blog is not boring... you don't need to fret so much about that.
Glad to see that your are re-thinking hanging with the gang.
I know so many people who care about you. Summer, Soul, Kelly Jean, Cheryl. I care too. Keep writing bud. I'm reading.
Stopping by to say hi and also hope that my last commeng bothered you..I was NOT trying to push you to email or talk just wanting to make sure that you knew I care and want to help if I can.
Sorry I haven't commented in awhile. Your life is interesting and I love hearing about it.
sharyna
You are not boring, and your blog is not boring. But you know that. :) Don't ever doubt yourself, ok! And please don't get rid of your camera. I know all your readers love to see your pictures. Hang in there, and have a good weekend.
Andrew, I don't know what I'd do if you stopped blogging. It's not boring to me in the least bit! I enjoy checking on your life each day, no matter what the day has held for you. I think it's hard for you to get used to the peacefulness not drinking has brought to your life, but it's just like unlearning a habit...the adjusting. Eventually it will be easier and seem more normal.
I'm happy to come here each day and see what you and Maggie have been up to, and do so with no expectations of grand tales. Whatever you write is just fine.
Hugs...
C.A.
I have to say "ditto" to C.A. I would have wrote the same thing if I'd got here first! Your blog is NOT boring! And puh-leeze do NOT pawn your camera again! It ain't worth it!! I miss you when I'm not able to check in. You're a great writer.
i like mundane...it's fun and you write so well!
sincerely,
Elizabeth
Going to hang out with that new group of men is the WORST decision I've watched you make. Eliminating the old gang is the BEST one!
Mel
Your blog is NOT boring and we enjoy reading about your life, as you do of ours.
I can't say I'm sorry to hear you're leaving the gang behind. With new and healthy habits comes new and healthy friends.
Keep blogging and we'll keep reading!!
Your blog is not boring and never will be, so don't worry about that. I enjoy reading you very much.
I think sometimes it is hard to move away from the companionship of gangs and people from the past but sometimes it is a very important step in doing what is best for yourself. When you feel tempted, just ask yourself and be honest when answering, What will I be getting from this situation if I join the gang again? Will it be positive environment and uphold and support the new beginning I have worked so hard and made for myself?
Please don't pawn your camera.You are a very talented photographer.
Big hug,
Michelle
Sir:
I also agree that you should not pawn your camera. It would be a shame.
I also wanted to give you a bit of encouragement that you are stronger than you think you are. You may have fears or worries about what you may do if you visit your old friends, but you also know inside that you have the ability to do what you choose and if you put your mind to it, you can have whatever success you wish.
PipeTobacco
Andrew.... I read your blog just about everyday here in aussie and do you know what I miss? Videos of Maggie, even the ones of yourself talking.So if ya ever feeling down try taking videos they are ever so interesting :)
If I didn't have my daily dose of you I would be far unhappier than I am. There's just something about you Andrew. I can't name it at the moment, but, people love you and want to be a part of your life. You have something to give. Something to do. I think there is a reason.
I invite you to reconsider what it means to be boring - I don't find you boring at all! Everyday real life events are valuable - they help to shape and express what people esteem. Your writing and sharing of your feelings is very insightful and edifying indeed. Thank you!
Andrew, I read your blog every day. It's my sunshine and orange juice. As you have shown in your wonderful photographs, your stories about your family and the store and your neighbors and your dog and your hobbies and the food you enjoy, ordinary life is pretty remarkable. Keep writing. You've been so candid about your struggles. Such honesty is rare.
Personally, I don't read your blog to keep up with the gang, I read it to keep up with you and your life. I think you've outgrown them, Andrew. They are stuck in the same rut and probably will be unless something happens to jar them into returning to sobriety. You, on the other hand, have made great strides in turning your life into something much healthier. I have cheered for you every step of the way. I know some days are really hard, and sometimes you feel very lonely, but you are doing it - things you never even thought possible - sobriety, a job, a cozy home to live in, and money in your pocket when YOU feel ready to handle it responsibly. We can't really go backward in life, nor should we. Keep stepping forward, look for new friends that are a positive influence. Ask Dad for $1 a day so you can attend meetings without feeing embarassed. I will always continue to read here, and I never find it boring. Real life, and people working their way thru it - that's the best blogging there is! :-)
People may be reading your blog but not posting a comment all the time, like me.
I would like to know if you are willing to share, how you got things on both sides of you sidebars.
The truth is that every time I want to leave a comment on your blog, I have to scroll down six feet to do so. LOL I agree with you, move on because you've chosen a good path and they will only pull you back down the other one with them. You live sounds so good right now and I know you have your struggles, but the fact is, you ARE struggling... that means you're not just giving in and giving up. You have fight in you! Your blog won't die. I read it every day (subscribed) even though I can't comment every day. I love your blog and everything you write about. I really love hearing about the customers you make deliveries to. Do what is best for you and just trust that you will always have something to write about. You're never boring!
I hope for you... a strong Spirit. Take care. -c
Wow Andrew, see you have so many adoring fans. We all agree (I think it's safe to say) that your blog is not boring (that's closer to me than you lol) and can never be. You mustn't worry about what your "gang" may think - you have to do what you have to do for you because ultimately you are the only one that has to be with you at all times! In the end, all we have is ourselves, and if we're so lucky, a significant other. You just focus on you and the stuff in your emotional "suitcase" ok? *hugs*
I come here to read how you are doing, what you're up to, and how Maggie and The Fam are doing. Your blog is not boring. You are a good writer and make all your subjects interesting. I hope you will continue to write.
PS. You don't have to try and make your blog more exciting, at least not for me. I like it just the way it is. Of course, I would enjoy reading it if you only wrote about paint drying. ha
hi.
Count me in as one of the fans who've been reading for years.
I wouldn't blame you for staying away from the gang after Ferret saying 'one drink won't hurt you'. Sounds like one of the most poisonous things to say to somebody struggling with addiction.
hey andrew--
im a little late in catching this post--
i have never once read your blog wondering how the gang was doing. always it's about you , your day, your feelings, and how you make it through the days, etc.
you and i have a lot in common. i like to see you jump those hurdles in life and still be smiling.
i've seen it many times with you-- and i'm so happy that you have finally seen it yourself.
time for some changes-- it may not be easy to break away from the gang-- but trust me.. it's the best thing for you.. you know that.
your blog is far from dead.. this blog will never die.
take care my brotha--
happy sunday-
Wow, you have gotten so many affirming entries from so many diffferent people. They all, for one reason or another, indicate that they have a unique attraction to either you or your blob--that my friend is worthy of recognition!
Knowing you via your blog, has enriched my life. Thanks
B~
i have been having problems with blogger motivation too. i can't talk about myself as intimately as you do. i sure do admire you for how you keep writing.
in the end, i suppose we all have to write for ourselves and write what we feel. i am sure you will find your way!
Hi , I am from Singapore. I've been reading your blog for the past one year.
It's not boring at all !
Please don't give it up. I love reading whatever you write
Just show us your world through your eyes... that's why we visit your blog. No one else can see it quite the way you do. So instead of worrying if you are boring, worry if you are telling the story so it shows what you see. You have a gift for writing... it's not the "gang" that brought us here, it's you. :)
Hey Andrew one thing for SURE, you are NOT boring!
take it from me! I KNOW these things!
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