I get chatty when I don't feel well (You should hear Joyce cuss when she is doing poorly). Most people would clam up or turn to their family. My family is in Texas and my other family is my blog friends. I want you all to know I feel so much better tonight. It took a few hours, but my extra Risperdal helped immensely. Soon, Charlie will be here with my nightly medications and I can retire. I didn't even check comments on that last post for fears of being berated about work. Most people have such a strong work ethic drilled into them for most of their lives that I felt it might bring out the ire of someone's goodwill who had worked all day without relent.
Right now I am enjoying going outside on this warm spring evening and watching Maggie. This new season has really brought out the best in her personality. She has really made the backyard her new home. I am pleased to have such a fenced in space for her. I feel all mentally ill people should have companion pets if they are able. Just not the mental elderly ladies who adopt 50 cats and don't take care of them. That seems to be common these days.
Well, thank you for those of you who read and still stick by me. I hope you are finding things just get better and better. I have less of these "spells." Life is certainly more livable these days. Goodnight.
15 comments:
Don't you worry bout a thing...
Andrew,
We all have these days. It's pk everyone understands. Tomorrow will be better. I hope you have a good night. :)
Andrew,
Your readers can see you are making progress.....maybe you don't always feel it, but those watching you from a distance can see the positive changes . Congrats on 143 days.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I wish you were here in Texas with your family... of course Houston is still very far away from me. But I am going down south tomorrow. Just take care of yourself and take it easy tonight. Know that your blog family loves and cares for you.
You stayed strong, even though you wanted a drink. You went to work and did your job. You might have temptations, as we all do, believe me, but you didn't give in. You're doing well Andrew. You're taking one day at a time. See if you can get to a meeting; I think it will bolster your strength.
I'm glad we're family.
You're actually an inspiration. I enjoy reading your blog very much.
I'm glad to hear you are feeling better Andrew. Take care of yourself and enjoy the weather. Maggie is one lucky girl
You are in such a different place than you were when I first found your blog. Your down times are so much less debilitating. I am so glad you are doing well.
We all have days we don't feel like working and we all take those days sometimes and getout of work somehow. Mental illness is NOT a lack of control I think for me anyway it is a need to be in total control even if it is being in total control of chaos. But that is me just dealing with major depression and alcoholism.
142 days AWESOME!!
TISO
I know exactly what you are going thru. The last couple days for me have been crappy. A slight "relapse" if you will.
But today seems we are both better! We all have those days. Thankfully less than more.
Take care.
You are doing better and better, friend. And I know with your drive, you will continue to do so.
Big hugs!
Hang in there, this will pass and everything will be all right. You haven't had an anxiety spell in quite a while now. They will become farther and farther apart as you realize that you are really ok.
Andrew, don't beat yourself up about leaving work early yesterday. I used to leave early every chance I got and that was for 35 years! LOL! The ONLY time I never wanted to leave early was on 9/11--we were ordered to leave not long after the attacks started since we were a federal agency located right at the airport and perhaps subject to an attack. That was sad and scary.
You have been so strong, look at that counter--143 days sober.
Have you ever seen one of those "automatic" feeder/water containers for you pet? It has something like a big liter Coke bottle mounted upside down that you fill with water and feeds into a little dish for little Maggie. I've had one of these for years for my four-legged babies. Only thing, if you keep one outside you have to keep all the pollen cleaned off the dish, otherwise, it won't be used. Pickie kids!
Today will be another storm dodging day. I just hope this Friday won't be as bad as a couple of weeks ago when Atlanta got hit so hard.
You are doing so well, don't minimize your progress.
Leaving work early one day is not a terrible crime and I'm sure it didn't diminish your coworker's opinions. The bottom line is that you got the job done and the deliveries made. Even more importantly, no matter how badly you craved a drink last night... you DIDN'T have one! You've come a long, long way in learning to ride out the rough times, and I am so proud of you. We all have days where we feel great about life and days where we want to give up in defeat. The trick is to dust ourselves off and keep going, and you're doing that. I hope today is much gentler for you, you deserve it!
You are so strong Andrew..and I truly mean it when I say that you are an inspiration not only to me but others too. I found myself thinking of you when the other day my ride had to stop for the train to go by and the driver was talking about how much he loved trains and loved just being by the track watching them go by
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