I and Carolyn had a fierce argument last night over the phone. I hate arguing, especially over the stupid phone where you can’t see each other’s body language. The argument was over something trivial and stupid as well. She just wouldn’t let it go. I realize in a relationship you sometimes have to be the proverbial punching bag. It still hurts though and I feel emotionally spent and wasted this morning. I am also still seething at Carolyn for making such a big deal out of trivial bullshit.
I also had a call from my father last night berating me for spending too much money on groceries lately. We still have our joint checking account and he can see what I spend as my statements come to their house. He was just worried about the money as my new house has just eaten me up financially lately. I have only $300 dollars left in my checking account after once having $5000 saved up as an emergency fund.
“Son, if we are going to finish this house, you have got to cut back on your spending,” He told me.
I sighed. I already live on a shoestring budget as it is and can’t imagine cutting back even more. One of my great pleasures in life is enjoying good food and good, home cooked meals.
As you can see, last night was not a good night.
It is pouring down rain and thundering and lightning as I write this. Soon, I have to make the 45 minute drive to go see my psychiatrist and get my prescriptions refilled. I do not relish that long drive in this driving rain down the interstate to Opelika. I would rather stay in my warm and dry home and laze about the house all day enjoying the sounds of the weather.
I also have to go by Kroger and pick up four cords of firewood for 2 for $8 dollars. I saw them on sale last night when I was buying groceries and Ferret needs good, dry, and long burning wood. I am sure he will pay me back. I am not about to get out in this driving rain to go ask him though. It will just have to be a surprise tomorrow once this storm passes.
6 comments:
HI Andrew,
Sorry it was such a bad night. Hopefully things will turn around today with Carolyn. Seething-that's a really strong emotion. It must have been some fight. Also, I don't quite get your Dad. It seems like money spent on groceries is money well spent. Something else must be going on with him. Try not to let this stuff get you too down. I know you've really been enjoying life lately. Thank you so much for including my link in your blog. *I'm honored*
Andrew:
Good wishes for you on your trip to the psychiatrist. If this visit involves any sort of talk session as well as the perscriptions, please be sure to describe to him/her all of your emotions and feelings about you, your father, Carolyn, Ferret, etc. It will help him/her to help you more effectively.
Are you planning to keep your father as your designated payee now? Previously, you had been wanting an unbiased, third party to act in such a capacity. I believe that during the summer, you had planned to do this, but had difficulties contacting someone over the phone. Are you satisfied with the current arrangement or would you still prefer an alternative payee?
I can likely imagine what your argument was about with Carolyn. I suspect it was one of the typical male perspective/female perspective clashes that is unfortunately all too common. If I were to wager a bet, I would suspect that it revolved around the idea of her thinking you "do not care" because you wanted an evening to focus on your computers a day or two ago and did not abruptly change your plans when she surprised you with a visit. If the above was the basic argument, then.... it *is* simply a difference between men and women. For most men, work related tasks typically take precidence over unexpected, unplanned, surprise alterations in a schedule. For many women, unexpected alterations in a schedule allow a woman to "fly away" and leave behind whatever they were suppossed to be doing.
Because you did not react the way *she* wanted (to stop what you were doing and go "fly away"), and because she did not react the way *you* wanted (to see and accept and appreciate your need for time to work on your computers), you both ended up primed for a heated discussion.
If I am wholly off base, sir, I apologize. I am just in a bit of a predictive mood, and betting on the style of arguement after many, many decades of interactions at this level with the women of my life.
PipeTobacco
Pipe,
You hit the nail on the head exactly about I and Carolyn's little tussle on the phone last night.
Andrew
Well, said, Pipe. It is amazing how the differences in the way men and women think can cause so much unexpected strife.
Andrew, please try to let go of the anger, as it is only hurting you.
You and Carolyn are both beautiful people. Try to let go the upset and reach out in love and peace to Carolyn as you do every day on this blog and to all the gang.
Have a safe trip.
Andrew:
Hi, this is my second day to visit your blog. I found it serendipidously by hitting "next blog" from one of my friends' pages. I am hooked. I love your honest writing style. Your descriptions are extraordinary and I have already created images of the gang in my mind. No digital photograph needed. =) I say that, but it's funny how sometimes the ideas in one's head don't always jibe with reality. For instance, I heard your audio blog entry and your voice was nothing like I thought it would be. I guess I had forgotten to factor in the accent. In any case, I wanted to say hello since I think I will be a frequent visitor to your blog. Keep up the good work.
I don't know enough about the conversation between you and Carolyn to make any comments. However, I am worried about Ferret.
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