Dad walked across my yard with a big white sack in hand from the pharmacy. Maggie and I were standing at my screen door. Anticipation grew as dad got closer and I could see it was full of Cokes. :-)
“You’ve been doing so well I thought I would bring you a treat,” dad said, handing me the sack.
“I talked to your mother about your birthday present from me,” dad said as he sat down on the couch to give me my medications. “She says you want a grocery store shopping spree.”
“Yes,” I said as I smiled ever hopeful.
“You sure this isn’t involving your bulimia?” dad asked. “You’re not going to eat all that food and throw it up are you?”
“No,” I promised. “I just want to be able to buy some foods I can’t normally afford.”
“I will give your mother $150 dollars and she will buy what you write down on a list.”
“Yippee!” I thought. I was so excited. I was going to get ribeyes and all kinds of things I just can’t buy. I wanted lots of soda as well if mom would buy it and dad thought it was okay.
“Next Saturday night we will go to the Outback for your birthday meal,” dad then said. “Martha is getting you a birthday cake from the bakery.”
I was just a smiling. It was going to be a wonderful birthday this week. Monday is the day. I will be 38 years old. My, have the years passed by so fast. I will soon be the big 4-0.
“Will your lawnmower crank?” dad asked as he was leaving to go home and take a nap. I told him yes. I got it to crank the other day.
“Your grass needs cutting so do that this afternoon.”
I sighed, but it needs to be done. Grass mowing is not my favorite chore in the book. I told dad goodbye as he gave Maggie one last head pat and neck rub. Off for a nap he went.
7 comments:
I will be waiting to hear you sing on your birthday!!!
38 was a wonderful year for me and I hope it is for you too.
As always, the floral pictures are so beautiful! That wisteria looks lika a painting - almost too good to be true!! Oh, enjoyed the drive to Fat Albert's yesterday. Mom's looking good!
Your shopping spree sounds wonderful. Don't eat it all on the first night . . . make it last at least a few days. I know you're gonna have fun with that!
Mowing the yard will be great for ya! Maybe get a little extra fresh air - and some tan on your pale face! You're almost as white as me! We could both use more outdoor time.
Can't help myself - - TOLD YA SO! I'm sorry. It's so rare that I get to say that!
Eat a slice of that birthday cake for me! Just a thin one - I'm on a diet again.
Have a good evening -- glad to hear you feeling sooo good!
Love ya,
Grannie
i am glad that you get what you want for your birthday. be careful and do not binge or you will want to throw u p. i am happy for you it will be interesting to hear what you want to get. the flowers are pretty. i hope that this coming year is blessed. you are doing great andrew and i hope that you can tell that to yourself. i liked the pictu r e of the cat too.i had a good day today. the doctor changed my medication some and it has seemed to help me. take great care of yourself. liz
Why can't your father just ask the simple question, "Why do you want a shopping spree insead of an itunes gift card or something that will last?"
He always has to throw negative comments in, assuming the worst of you. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, if he wants to support you, I wish he would just do that and not put those thoughts into your head.
It can't possibly help you feel love and support when he's always expecting the worst of you!
Awful as it may sound, I understand why your dad makes those comments to you. And I'll bet that if he thought about it, he'd wish he didn't feel like he had to. I may not make comments to my daughter, at least most of the time, but I am still working to regain trust that she will not use again, and still am so afraid that she will. I worry about her mental illness and her quality of life, and I try to be her advocate with doctors and therapists. (And I know...I KNOW...I am powerless over people, places and things...but I keep hoping and trying to help.)
I think your dad is still afraid that you will jump the rails again, and seeks assurance that you are not planning to do so -- even though that is not really rational on his part because -- come on -- if you WERE contemplating bulimic behavior, you'd probably lie about it, wouldn't you???
He loves you. He wants you to be okay and not to ever have to go back to being so sick and desperate and frightened. A parent wants to protect his/her child from bad things, even adult children, and even when you know that is not possible, you still worry and hope and try to control things as much as you can. (Even when you shouldn't...)
Does that make sense?
I like the idea of a grocery shopping spree if that's what brings you pleasure. (And I'll spare you my lecture on the evilness of sodas...in honor of your pending birthday...)
Love your flower pictures. Makes me miss the South.
Beth
I do hope you get to go on that shopping spree Andrew...what a fantastic opportunity to to prove to your Dad you can keep the eating under control !!...I can understand him worrying, but IF you prove yourself in this, maybe he will start to trust you where food is concerened again, and that would be a good thing..You have come on well in so many areas, this could be yet another Huge hurdle that you COULD overcome...i wish you so much luck dear...you can do it..and it would be such a good thing for you too.
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