Opulence Was Given...

I called Dad knowing he had arrived home from Alexander City and my niece's much-ballyhooed dance recital. I crossed my fingers just for good luck and gulped robustly as I punched his number into my cordless phone.

"Dad, I am all out of food and milk. Would you please fix me up a care package of Beefaroni out of your pantry and I wanted to get my Cokes for today as well."

The beefaroni are kept down in the pantry just for these types of occasions. Dad buys six a week. It is a carryover from when my mother did all the grocery shopping. I usually need them around Sunday and Monday.

"You've eaten all your food? I can't believe you've eaten all that food!" Dad said alarmingly.

"Drive over and I will give you something to eat and drink," he said with a sigh.

I should've been the one letting loose a sigh. I am 45 years old for Christ's sake. I don't need to be told when and what I can eat. I don't want to have to grovel for the scraps from my father's dinner table. (Evoke Auschwitz Mantra)

It was almost 10:30 PM by the time I was pulling out of my driveway for the short drive to my parent's house. My father goes to bed around midnight so I wasn't too worried about keeping him up.

When I drove over, I made sure to take the route by the police station so the traffic would be light. Be sure to buckle up for safety and to avoid $75 dollar traffic tickets. 20 mph is the speed limit along that stretch of road as well.

"Don't let the cat out!" my father hollered to me as I unlocked and opened the back door.

Samantha was ready to pounce, but I kept her inside. I picked the diminutive little cat up off the kitchen counter and put her in Dad's lap. That cat can jump to incredible heights.

I apologized profusely upon arrival at my father's house for some reason. My father was sitting in the den watching TV specifically the London disturbance.

"Go downstairs and get what you need," he told me. "Your Cokes are in the coat closet."

Opulence for me tonight is three microwavable bowls of Beefaroni and six Diet Cokes. I feel as if I have won the lottery jackpot.