I feel so much better tonight. It is amazing what a few Zanax, some orange juice, a pint of Gatorade, two slices of cinnamon raisin toast, and some sleep can do. That was such a terrible feeling and I am so glad to be feeling better. I wouldn’t wish mental illness upon anyone and those of you with normal brains thank your lucky stars. It can hit me at a moment’s notice like that so I never know when it will happen.
I told Carolyn what happened tonight and she was very supportive. One time, when we were dating before, she dropped me like a hot rock when I told her of my mental illness. I guess she now feels that for the most part I can control it, but I still have off days from time to time. I think she doesn’t feel threatened by it any longer.
She came over and cooked supper tonight. We had polish dogs with sauer kraut and French fries. She was kind of giving me a hard time about me never coming to her house much though. We always end up at mine. What can I say? I am a homebody. I promised her I would start going over there more. She has a beautiful house. I can understand her feelings. I once dated a girl, Leslie, in high school and we dated for a year and she only came over to meet my parents once. It was very selfish and I do not want to be like that.
Carolyn has now left for home. She told me to sign in to Google chat and we would chat for awhile.
“Just call me on the phone,” I replied before she left.
“I like using that computer you built for me,” She said as she smiled. “I want to be technologically savvy. I also like the way you write. You express yourself better through words.”
I smiled back. I can understand wanting to use a new computer and internet access after you have never had one. She has really enjoyed having that new computer and it makes me proud that I built it and got her set up on the internet. Now, if I can just get her to blog. I would love to be nosey and read her journal. He he!
9 comments:
Hey Jonathon,
Glad you are feeling better. Now, what I would give for a family member just to throw me 3 to 4 Zanax at times!!!!! Just kidding, the grass is always greener on the other side, huh.
Thank you skqbdoo,
I was glad to read on your journal that things are going much better for you as well. Take care of yourself and as always, thanks for the kind comments. I appreciate them very much.
Jonathon
Your relationship with Carolyn is beautiful and I find your daily life as a couple very rich and inspiring. The little things - of deep impact - you are constantly doing for each other are, I think, remarkable.... I guess I didn't realize it at first, but as you keep writing about it, I am now coming to see what a rich, meaningful relationship that is.
... not to mention the great way you have to write about it! I really like your writing!
Glad you're feeling better and that help was so quickly and easily available.
Best thought
Laurent
Thank you Laurent for the kind words. Your comments always mean a lot to me. I hope things are well in the great country of France!
Jonathon
Perhaps the reason for the anxiety attacks could also be your lack of routine sleep? It seems as though your sleep patterns are way off. You said so yourself that you were still up late at night. I am sure that could be attributing to your anxiety. I am just glad you are okay.
I know exactly what Carolyn is going through when it comes to the computer. I got this computer in April and it is the first one I have ever had.
Well, get some sleep tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams Love.
Abbagirl,
I am sure my lack of sleep these days has something to do with it as well. I am trying to get back on a normal schedule by trying to stay up during the day. My nap this afternoon will not help though.
Good night and sweet dreams to you too sweetheart. Don't work to hard tomorrow and have a great and unstressful work week.
Jonathon
I'm also glad that you're feeling good again and that you have so many people that care. Stay well...
Thank you Cheryl,
I hope this finds you well as well. Take care of yourself and thanks for the comments.
Jonathon
Jonathan,
I have few words today. I am so glad that you are feeling better. I'm so glad your family stepped up and helped in such a tangible way. Peace, friend.
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