Regaining Focus…

Yesterday, I just walked…and walked…and walked even more. I kind of felt like Forrest Gump if you remember when one day he just stepped outside and started running. It was damned cold and overcast and just a downright dreary day, but I enjoyed being out of doors despite the weather. I donned my little radio, slung my backpack filled with water and cigarettes over my shoulder, and headed down to the old train depot (now a railroad museum) and started walking the tracks. I must have walked for miles when I realized I was behind the old, abandoned cotton mill in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of town standing upon a bridge skirting Hardley creek. I turned around and headed home. I ignored the many “no trespassing” signs scattered at intervals upon the railroad tracks.

I have decided I am going to get my hiking legs back in shape and do some long distance hiking and camping this winter. I have to find some purpose for my life again and regain focus. I felt the exercise would do me good. I still want to hike all 2000 miles of the Appalachian Trail this coming summer. It is a dream of mine and I must follow my dreams once again. I have wanted to do it for years. I want to garner some sponsors and donate what I don’t use on the trail living frugally to The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill.

When I got home from walking, I spent some time with my mother as she watched her daily soap operas such as The Guiding Light. They bored the shit out of me, but I was lonely and wanted some company. Mom gets lonely as well and wanted me to stay with her. I sat in the chair and marveled at my mother’s cats lying upon the floor in front of their gas heater. Dad calls it kitty crack cocaine as it knocks them out.

Last night, I bought groceries and managed to do some of my most thrifty and satisfying shopping yet. Dumpster Diving Dan paid me back the $200 dollars from paying his past due, delinquent gas bill. I got lots of healthy and nourishing food for only $56 dollars; lots of fruit, natural sugar-free cereals, and fresh veggies. The only thing I splurged on was some ground beef to make spaghetti. Beef is so expensive. I was proud of myself. This means I will have to become diligent with cooking once again. I had fallen into a lapse of eating unhealthy prepared and canned foods. My mantra was once “better mental health through better eating” and I need to make it my battle cry once again.

Today, I go down to Opelika, Alabama to talk to my therapist. I am paying this lady $75 dollars an hour to vent my spleen. I am still not sure if it is helping, but I promised my brother I would give it a good try. He, as a physician, feels it is important for my mental health to have someone to talk to who is not biased like my father. Someone, I can be honest with. Then, I and mom are going by Jim Bob’s chicken fingers to eat Vidalia onion rings and get a chicken finger plate with fries, slaw, and Texas toast. If the rain holds off, I will come home and once again try to get in quite a few miles before dark fall. The National Weather Service is predicting a soaker though so I have my doubts I will get in my multi mile hike today. So far, the rain is holding off. Here's to a good and productive day my friends.