Much is going on today and I am choosing not to participate for my health’s sake. My sister-in-law is throwing this big tailgate party for my brother and all his local friends. My father has called me several times urged me to go to the party and then the Auburn vs. Florida game (that is why my cousin and her friends are in town. They are rampant Gator fans.)
“Go to the party for your brother,” My father told me a moment ago.
“Dad, that is like asking a cancer patient in the last stages of cancer to just get up and be healed. You know how nervous those extremely social situations make me. I would rather have a quiet Saturday in and watch the game on TV,” I told him forcefully.
“I just wish you could be normal and enjoy being around other people,” He replied.
“I do enjoy being around certain people,” I replied. “They have to be people I feel comfortable around, care about, and who are not superficial and judgmental.”
My father was not happy with me at all when I hung up the phone. I wish he could get that I am just not a social animal like he is in the same sense. I do not enjoy grand social gatherings or parties. They make me a nervous wreck and exacerbate my mental illness. I especially abhor the small talk aspects of it all. I never know what to say or how to keep a conversation going.
Carolyn then called me from work on her cell phone.
“Rescue me!” I exclaimed. “Rescue me from this mess.”
“Go over to my house and hang out all day on the computer,” She replied. “Just use your key and feed my cats while you are at it.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “I hadn’t thought of that. I will see you when you get off.”
“We will order a pizza from Papa John’s when I get off,” She said. “And then we will watch your British comedies on PBS. NO FOOTBALL THOUGH!!! I can’t take that shit after working all day.”
I laughed.
“Okay Hun, I promise. No football,” I replied. “I will see you around seven and will order the pizzas online. Call me when you are about to head home.”
We hung up the phone. I am headed for a quiet day of reading online over at Carolyn’s house. At least, her cats will keep me company and I don’t have to make small talk with them! lol
4 comments:
tsk, tsk Daddy Minter. I guess I am shaking my finger at him because of the comment that he made about you being normal. YOU ARE NORMAL!!!
Sometimes being by yourself is great. I am a total football fan, I love to tailgate, but I can't stand being around people who I don't particularly know either. It's like you feel forced into making small talk. ugh. The whole thing can be rather exhausting. Anyway, good luck to Auburn today. But, I have to end it with GO BUCKS!!!
Good for YOU, Jonathan! And good for CAROLYN for stepping up to the plate to help you out. Have a sleep over, for goodness sake and stay out of the fray.
Not everyone is an extrovert. Not everyone is energized by being around people or meeting new people. Some people are INTROVERTS and that is NORMAL. The fact that being in a large social situation like that also exacerbates your illness makes it PERFECTLY NORMAL for you to want to avoid it.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your health. You deserve it.
Bucks? Gators? Auburn? What are you guys talking about *grin*
I feel speechless Andrew. I feel the need to say something, but don't quite know how. I cannot believe your Father said that to you about being 'normal'. Whether he truly meant it, or just used the wrong words, it's a horrible thing to say to someone.
I agree with what's been said above me. There are so many different kinds of people in the world, there is no 'normal'. and for him to say it in that context, I personally find to be cruel.
I get those kinds of remarks from my Mom. While I don't recall any about my issues, she feels totally free to comment about other areas of my life. The most hurtful are about my Mothering. I take those comments especially hard because I strive to be a good Mother and considering my current circumstances, as well as my being a single Mom doing it alone, I think I'm doing a great job.
I'm sorry you had it said to you. I truly truly am.
Before you mentioned that it was the social aspect, I was thinking you didn't want to go because people would be drinking. So it's good you didn't go.
I hope you and Carolyn had a good night. I'm headed to bed myself. Just wanted to pop online and check the blogs and emails.
Liz
Where can we find the journal that defines "normal", who decides that exactly.
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