Wanda was telling me this morning on the drive back about her deepest regrets.
"My children," she told me. "I put them through hell with my drinking."
She said her son was in the Army and stationed in Germany. He will not talk to her. Her daughter is also in AA and trying to stay sober with several young children of her own.
"I was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," Wanda told me. "You put some tequila in me and I turned into an abusive bitch of a mother. I was mean, too, and would fight and abuse my family."
"It is a sickness," I replied. "I reckon it is very similar to insanity. Believe me. I know."
My ex-wife couldn't have children and I think that was a blessing in disguise. I never put children of mine through the hell that can be mental illness and addiction.
Will I ever have kids? Hopefully, not until I have many years of sobriety and recovery from schizophrenia. I am not heeding the alarm of my biological clock. Maggie shall be my furkid. Now, if I can just keep her from digging out of the fence. It is like a teenage daughter sneaking out a window late at night to be with a boyfriend.
11 comments:
Don't worry, men don't have biological clocks. You'll be able to father kids well into your 90's. Maggie's like Tippy, Spring comes and she's gotta roam.
sharyna
hello andrew....hope that you are having a good day.i am glad that you enjoyed the meeting and time with wanda. i have gone to a few oa meetings and my experiences were that there were people all different sizes. i also though found that at least in the area where i live not many men go, i did enjoy well better wording is felt comfortable in sharing and also when i just wanted to be quiet. i hope that the rest of your weekend goes well.
Schizophrenia can be passed to your children.
I am glad you are healthy and on your way to a happy life. Hugs to you my friend.
Oh my, you need to get one of those electrical collars for Maggie. You have a base unit and you determine how far Maggie can get from the unit. We have friends that have one and it absolutely stops their dog in his tracks. We have seen it in action and it works.
So glad you are feeling better. Sounds like your meds have been adjusted properly.
The elderly lady needed your visit. Maybe you can just drop by and check on her from time to time. It takes a special person to deal with the elderly like that.
furkids are nice, they don't talk back and you don't have to buy them a car! or send them to college.
Happy Easter Andrew!!
lol at geezlizzie. so true! and they always love you even when you are mad at them or discipline them.
What's this joke that your dad told you? I wanna hear it! :P
(i think) kids are a heavy duty responsibility. personally i am grateful that i do not have that additional responsibility for now. i don't rule it out, but i am fairly certain it is unlikely to happen. there is too much trouble on the horizon in the next ? 60 yrs for me to REALLY want to bring a new life into those sets of circumstances. I expect life to get tougher while natural resources struggle to meet demand.
besides there are plenty of parent-less kids that desperately need support, so there is no shortage of kids to help if you really want to.
whatever thats just how i see it.
so dont think that kids are something that automatically 'happen' when you get well. sometimes they don't, and thats fine too. don't feel it is 'expected' of you. thats just peer pressure, and nobody likes that..
Irish Friend gives some really good advice; ditto to what he said. Also ditto to Sharyna; men don't have biological clocks (wasn't Tony Randall 70-something when he had his kids?). What I did want to say is that I'm really proud of your reasoning abilities and your time spent thinking out the future and options. 124 days ago, you wouldn't have done that. Also remember that you don't have to be a biological parent or even the parent of a human child to be a "real" parent. Maggie would agree with me. I've often said that if people want to find out what it's like to be a parent, they should adopt a small dog first. Maggie's energy and demands aren't too much different than what a young child asks of you (this, coming from the mom of an 8 year old boy).
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