One of the hardest transitions I’ve ever faced in recent memory was going from sleeping in the day to sleeping at night again. I won’t make that same mistake twice. Thankfully, 10:50pm rolled around last night and I couldn’t stay awake any longer. I crawled into my now cool covers and the next thing I remember was waking this morning at 7am to Maggie snoring by my side close against my chest which I just adore.
It was chilly in my house this morning with me having turned the air down to 76 degrees last night. Breakfast was a small bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce as I watched the morning express on HLN. I always marvel at what I call talking heads and the social and behavioral engineering on these shows and what they display as the news. Of all the newsworthy things in the world, they tend to talk about what is trending in American society and on the internet. I could care less if Bruce Jenner is transgender now or the fact that white lady was masquerading as a black person. It has no relevance to my life. I want to hear about the Indian veterans on hunger strike fighting for their pensions from the government on the other side of the globe or the state of Iraq that we left in shambles and civil war.
Dad I were talking last night about jobs. I very often misguidedly want to go back to work. We both agreed I could never work a job if I was having an afternoon like I did yesterday. I was a mental basket case by the time he arrived with my medications. What if that happened when I was working the second shift at Fred’s? I would be paralyzed by fear and paranoia – delusions of the sordid kind. I am lucky my house and car are paid for thanks to my father. My only real bills are my credit card, food, fast internet, and my household utilities which I very frugally use. All my prescriptions are wholly covered by Medicare part D. This allows my father to save up some money in my account for incidentals and emergencies like getting dental work.
That said, I long for independence and yet I am scared of it at the same time. It’s a catch-22. Dad said to give him two more years of progress and addiction free behavior and he will put everything in my name and turn over the finances to me. Can I handle it? How far will I grow emotionally and mentally in two years? I take solace in the fact that if I am having trouble, I always have my father to help me get back on track. He is truly a financial wizard.
1 comment:
You're funny saying it's chilly at 76f I set our AC at 68 when we go to bed and it's still too warm!
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