Time for Cutting Out the Middle Man...

http://www.southernplate.com/

It will soon be 8am. The sun seemed quick to rise this morning. I have just woken up from a very fitful sleep and had me a giant glass of milk and a huge slice of that Edward's lemon meringue pie for breakfast. I let it defrost in the sink overnight. It tastes so much better at room temperature. It is also oh so sweet and oh so good -- absolutely exquisite and gluttony to the extreme. I doubt the pie will last me one day.

"Let's go through the self-checkout line," my father told me in overdrive. "I am paying for tonight."

My father was quite the busy man and was in his element last night. He has become very adept at dealing with those infernal machines. He slid $40 dollars in the money slot, got his change, and the machine spit out a receipt full of coupons.

Dad escaped me for awhile there getting the grandkids Promised Land chocolate milk. I was standing up front in the main aisle looking like a lost puppy.

"Can I help you sir?" one of the more suspicious Kroger employees asked me as he passed.

"I am just waiting on my father to get some more items," I replied kinda embarrassingly.

The groceries I got were two gallons of whole milk, chopped and sliced ham, Merita old fashioned sandwich bread, the lemon meringue pie, and two six packs of Vienna sausages. Dad also got some air fresheners on top of the large bottle of chocolate milk he purchased.