"I have laid in the bed all day and couldn't sleep," my mother told me tonight with a sigh in her after shower call that is becoming common between us.
We air our grievances and make each other feel better.
"Why don't you learn to use dad's computer?" I asked my mother with much encouragement. "There is all kinds of neat things you can do online."
I told her she could join Facebook or get into digital photography. At one time, my mother was a fantastic photographer when I was a child.
"I wouldn't learn to do all of that," she said without self-confidence.
"Well, Maggie hasn't moved off the back of the couch all day so she must feel the same way," I said with a chuckle.
Mom let out a weak laugh. I then told mom my problems.
"This time of the day always sucks for me," I told her at 6pm. "I am having withdrawals from my medications and will not feel normal again till dad arrives around 9pm. That's why I was staying up all night. It was to enjoy the effects of my medications. I could be at peace. I would wake up after sleeping all day around the time dad arrives from work and repeat the process. But I struggled something terrible with insomnia as well sleeping in the day."
"You know I would bring them every morning," mom told me.
"I know you would," I replied. "But dad would never trust you or I to do that. He's fanatical about these medications. He has to be in full control. These medications are a way for him to control me and my mental illness."
"Why didn't you go with Sandra to the Mexican restaurant tonight?" I then asked my mother.
"We both just didn't feel like going," mom said with another sigh.
1 comment:
Ask your dr. next time your there..they have extended relief meds that dispense in your system over 12 hrs so you don't get the dose all at once or maybe you could split up the meds. To two times a day..doesn't seem to be working they way you take them now...
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